Ajin Demi-Human - Imagine...

Tosaki: To Forgive, I'd Have To Forget

The incessant beeping of the heart rate monitor was grating at your skull. They might as well have been torturing you with a water drip machine.

You'd always been known for your emotional shell and endurance, but the mundane décor of the hospital along with the eerie quiet punctuated only by monitors and the occasional cough or wheezing fit by your wardmates, the months you'd spent waiting for a miracle were beginning to feel like decades. You weren't getting better - if anything, the medication seemed to be corroding your system, only serving to kill you faster. Maybe that was a blessing, but you hated that dark thought that constantly whispered in the back of your mind. 

You didn't want to die, not like this. It wasn't fair.

"I got the book you asked for." Tosaki's voice was always a comfort. It was the third day in a row that he had visited you, and he looked increasingly more concerned with each appearance though you refrained from remarking on it. "It should keep you busy for a while, but do try to take your time with it if that's humanly possible for you. They'll run out of bookstores if you don't pace yourself a bit."

You gingerly took the book from your friend's outstretched hand, which fell lightly onto the blanket at your side as your eyes scanned the cover like a child with a Christmas gift. "Thank you, Tosaki-kun." You smiled at him, taking his idle hand in yours as you one-handedly flipped the book over on your knees to examine the back. The book slipped from your grip, however, as a violent coughing fit racked your body, barely louder than a wheeze though it drained you of your strength. You couldn't meet Tosaki's eyes as his hand clasped more firmly over yours.

"Have the doctors said any more?" He asked quietly. You closed your eyes and shook your head, a wry smile pricking your lips.

"What more is there to say?" You whispered hoarsely. You felt nauseous, weak. Exhausted.

"You can make it out of here." Tosaki's words were betrayed by the slight waver in his voice, but you were grateful for them nonetheless. Even if you knew better, knew that there was nothing more that could be done, you were glad to have a friend like him wanting you to stay.

You needed to stay. After all, someone needed to be there for him. Someone needed to keep his head straight while his fiancee lay comatose, helpless in a world that valued coin more than the life slipping further from her grip with every day that passed. If only she was immortal, you found yourself thinking, and you couldn't help but wonder if Tosaki thought it too sometimes. For her, and perhaps maybe even for you - but that would be hell, especially as an Ajin identified and confined in a hospital, and he knew the consequences of that scenario better than anyone.

Tears stung at your eyes and though you willed them to disappear, you felt a droplet of warmth trickle down your cheek to soak your hospital gown. "If I do, you and I both know it won't be as me."

"What are you-"

"Tosaki," you cut him off firmly. "I'm not leaving this hospital alive. We both know that." Tosaki was quiet, and as you turned to meet his eyes, he looked away. "If I do... live... can you promise me something?"

"What is it?" Tosaki murmured, still not looking at you.

"Get me out of here. I don't want to become like those Ajin in captivity, being experimented on like a soulless lab rat." You coughed again, your chest burning from fear and anger and illness alike. "If I turn out to be one of them, get me out. Please, Yuu."

Finally, Tosaki looked up and locked his gaze with yours. He nodded curtly, and the pair of you sat in a comfortable, though somewhat melancholy, silence until the nurse entered to announce the end of visiting hours.