rock lovers - kirk hammett story 🖤

smoke

August 5th, 1984
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I woke up to soft breathing against my neck, something I haven't felt for a long time. I realized I fell asleep last night in the tour bus... with Kirk. I only feel slight regret, only because it's so soon and we barely know each other. Checking the time, I notice it's only 6 A.M. and I don't wake up this early so I fall back asleep with Kirk's face in my neck.

TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER:

This time I wake up with my back pressed against Kirk, his head resting on my shoulder. I feel him sigh, I can tell he's awake, I wonder how long he's been up? He has his arm wrapped around my waist, which means I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I put my hand on his and he moves his arm, realizing I'm awake.

I turn around to face him with a light smile carried on his face. He's put his hair in a ponytail, it's messed up now but I like it that way. He has a few messy strands hanging loose so I tucked one away behind his ear, leaving my hand to rest on his cheek. Not one word has been said between us, it's like we're speaking with our eyes. A realistic version of shining, something I learned from the movie (The Shining).

He broke the silence by asking me how I slept. "The most comfortable I've ever slept" I chuckled. He replied "it's quite cozy in our bus". In my head, I don't think that's why I slept comfortably. I went to sleep with barely any worries, because of Kirk.

I sat up and sighed, rubbing my eyes. I quickly fixed my hair and got up, before I could start walking away, Kirk grabbed my hand. I turned around looking at him, "I hope you know it wasn't because I was drunk" nodding to the empty bottles on the small table. I nearly forgot we even slept together, I knew it wasn't because he was drunk. I replied "I know" with a faint smile. We walked out of the room one at a time, I think he was tensed up too.

I nearly forgot we even slept together, I knew it wasn't because he was drunk. I replied "I know" with a faint smile. We walked out of the room one at a time, I think he was tensed up too.

I look out the window to see Cliff outside smoking, probably because of what Kirk told him. James is reading a Playboy magazine and Lars is half asleep on the couch. James puts the magazine down and looks at us both, he has a faint smile on his face. I heard a small rock being thrown at the window, it was Cliff signaling me to come outside. "I'll be back" I said before heading out.

I walk over to Cliff silently not knowing what to say or do. He passes me the blunt, I don't really care that its early either and I take a puff. We sit down at the same spot we have sat at since yesterday. "Did you guys sleep in the room?" I asked. "Didn't wanna disturb you". I couldn't help but feel guilty, it's not even my bus, not my room, not my bed, so why did I take that from them? Cliff notices my guilt and passes me the blunt again, "don't stress it".

"We found room to sleep on the couch and floor, it was good enough for a night, we've slept through worse".

"Kirk really cares about you, you know that right?" Cliff says. I don't respond. "Look, I know we all only met the other day, but we care about you". That only hurt my heart more when I realized they leave today. I don't even know where they're going next. Cliff says "I'll be back", hands me the blunt and walks in the bus.

I smoke a few puffs and continue to put my head in my hands, feeling pain in both my head and my heart. Not much later I see Kirk walk out towards me, Cliff stayed in the bus. He sat next to me and I put my head on his shoulder, only feeling slightly more relaxed.

"We don't really need to leave today" he says. I look up at him, confused. "Our next show isn't even until the 29th, but it's in France". Feeling slightly better, I ask"what are you guys gonna do until then?" He replies, "we have some photoshoots to do in New York still but we're mostly free". That made me smile, all my worries gone. I rest my head on his shoulder again and he gives my hand a squeeze.

"How come Cliff told me you were leaving today?" I asked curiously. "James told me they made some arrangements last night after they saw us sleeping".

I don't wanna be in their way, even though they have a small break. I think Kirk feels the same, he doesn't wanna be in my way either. I look at Kirk and start thinking. "I have a few extra bedrooms in my home, and a couch. You guys can always stay there if you don't wanna live in the bus for the next few weeks"

I think he tried hiding it but I peep Kirk smiling a bit "I'd like that, I'd have to talk to the others though, I should go do that now". I nodded and he got up walking towards the bus, he turned around and heading towards me, leaving a kiss on my lips. Then he headed to the bus.

I finish off the blunt, starting to feel drowsy from it. Lars opens the door, telling me I could come back in. I slowly walk in, my head pounding. I fall on the couch next to Kirk, putting my head back on his shoulder. "Cliff, where do you find your weed, it's fucking me up already" I said with a laugh. "Old friend back home lends me some every now and then".

I whisper to Kirk "what did they say?", he responds "we're okay with it as long as you are".

"Which one of us is sober?" I ask. Cliff tries to chime in saying "I ca-", "no" I reply. "Me and you have already been smoking today, we can't drive".

"Lars you can drive alright?" "Where are we even driving to?" He responds. "My house, I need to get some things plus if you truly want to stay there, you can bring some bags in".

We walk past the bench we met at yesterday and walk a bit further to my car. With Lars and James in the front, it leaves me, Kirk and Cliff in the back. Obviously I'm in the middle.

I give Lars directions on how to get to my house, constantly reminding him not to fuck my car up somehow. Besides Lars, we all have some sort of bag on our laps and a few in the trunk, they made their decision to stay with me and telling their bus driver to take the bus somewhere close and keep it safe.

I only barely fall asleep on Kirk's shoulder when I hear Lars ask "is this the one?"