𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐄, 𝐃𝐃 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐀

𝐨𝐧𝐞

*★°*:. KASSIDY :.*°★*
SUGAR HILL, NY | DD'S CRIB
AUGUST 1st | 5:00 PM
*★,°*:.☆$:*.°★*

"Wassup Sada?" DD swings open his house door, offering me his best attempt at a smile. It wasn't much but I couldn't blame him. I hadn't been smiling either as of late.

There was nothing to smile about. He took all of my happiness with him.

"Hi DD, how you feelin?" I ask, my red brimmed eyes looking directly into his tired, emotionless ones.

"I'm doin aight, jus really focusin on my music more. You know that was his dream and I ain't gon let it die wit him. How you been though?" He asks, causing me to shrug as a shaky breath escaped my body.

"Nothing feels right anymore." It was the simplest way to describe the complex emotions and thoughts filling my young mind. Nothing was the same anymore. Not without him here.

"Nah I feel you. What's inna box?" He asks, drawing my attention to the large box I forgot I was holding and reminding me of the reason I was even here.

"It's stuff that Notti left at my house. I jus wanted to see if you wanted any of it." I explain, causing DD to step back and pull the door open further.

I take one more deep breath, attempting to compose myself before stepping inside. I hadn't set foot in this house since the night of the funeral, which was about three weeks ago.

Every night leading up to Notti's funeral, I'd laid in his bed and cried for hours on end. His pillows that were once bright white were now yellowing with the stains of my tears. The picture of us that was once on display on his nightstand was now face down because it hurt me too much to look at. And his room that once held his beautiful scent now smelt like complete nothingness.

The night of the funeral was no different, I had come back to his house and cried in his bed while his entire family cried downstairs. His mother told me it was okay. It was just as hard on me as it was on anyone else, if not harder, she said to me.

That night, I was crying in his bed and all of a sudden I just stopped. Not because I felt better, but because I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes were dry and my throat was raw from all the sobbing. My palms were bloody from the way I was digging into them. And I had no tears left to cry. So, I did the first thing I could think of. I screamed. As loudly as i could muster, hoping to feel something. But I felt nothing.

Every feeling that once existed in me, good or bad, was now gone. They died with him.

I silently prayed to myself that no one heard me, that I didn't scream as loudly as it seemed in my head. I quickly realized how untrue that was when Valeria bursted into the room.

"Niña what happened? Are you okay?" she asked in her thick accent, fear written all over her face. All I could manage was a simple shake of my head. I was not okay, how could I be okay?

She walked over to me and sat next to where I was laying. She reached her cold, soft hand over and began to stroke my hair lightly.

"Everything is gonna be okay, amor. I know it's hard, trust me I know that. But, just because he isn't here physically doesn't mean he isn't with you. He's always gonna be with you." Her voice came out even and calm, like she was afraid to even speak to me. Her hands were soft and soothing, like she was afraid that she'd break me.

She sat with me for five minutes, whispering sweet little nothings to me. I heard a soft, rhythmic knock on the door and DD's shaky voice on the other side of it. He walked in and Valeria walked out.