I can't escape it. The world seems to be drenched in memories of you. Everywhere I turn, you are there, smiling and laughing and telling me jokes that weren't even funny. I'd laugh at them anyways because they came from you.
I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore. Purple isn't my favorite color anymore. I hate it actually. I hate the brightness. I hate the way it makes me feel. I cringe at the sight of it.
I hate my stuffed animals now. You got them for me. There in a bag in my closet.
My apartment is empty now. All the pictures are off the walls. I didn't bother replacing them.
I hate smoking now, but I do it anyways. When I'm high, it seems to be the only time I can think clearly without you interrupting.
I switched dealers. I got tired of being questioned about where you went.
I changed majors. I can't be an astronomer if every star reminds me of your eyes.
I wish you would've fought for me. I wish that you called or texted.
I'm angry.
I'm angry at myself for falling in love with you and realizing that too late.
Why didn't you just call?
Present
I'd like to think I'm better now. I still hold so much anger in my heart when I see pictures of you.
You blew up. You're famous now and doing great.
But I'm doing better.
I wrote poems. You always told me to write out how I'm feeling.
So I did. I turned them into songs and now I have an album. A popular album that I know you've heard. It's everywhere. Twitter, TikTok, instagram. You can't avoid me anymore.
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