𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑨𝑭𝑰𝑨

Chapter 7

Natalia's pov:

"Natalia" a voice far away says. I can't seem to pinpoint who it belonged to. 

"Natalia" the voice said firmer this time, gripping my shoulders and shaking them gently, just enough to wake me up from my nightmare.

I jolted up, gasping,  crying, panting.  I'd had another nightmare, but it was worse, this time. It was of the fucking day today, 7 years ago. It was of what I survived through, which I shouldn't have. 

"Shh, you're okay now, you're safe" a voice gently says, a hand cups my face softly and I lean into the touch. It felt just like home. Warm, soft, welcoming, homely. Just like my Mamá. Memories hit me back, and I  peered my eyelids open.

I wasn't home, nope. I was in the monster's cage. In the lion's hold with no place to escape to. In the cruel world I'd been thrown back to, yet again with no sign of escape. Leonardo must've sensed my thoughts, and shifted away from me. I breathed out a sigh of relief and found myself in in a bedroom, but it wasn't mine.

The bedroom was in a low contrast of black and grey, simple yet somehow homely, and welcoming. It had a marble floor and to the side two other doors. One of which, I assumed was the closet. To the side of where I was sitting, was a clock. It was 3:29 pm.

I couldn't sleep. I wasn't able to sleep much before anyways, four or five hours were fine, but now, my body was having a full-on sleep paralysis. I'd barely slept 30 minutes, and I had a nightmare. This wouldn't even count as a nap.

"You can take a shower and then we'll have lunch, come on" Leonardo's deep, rough voice says. Breaking me out of my thoughts that, if they went on longer, would swallow me whole. I got up, and to my fucking horror, I felt my knees go weak. I fell to the ground with a loud thud. I tried getting up, with the support of my bed, but before I could even get my legs stable, I was lifted off the ground with two masculine arms.

Leonardo was carrying me.

One of his hands was under my neck, gripping my shoulder, while the other, was under my legs. Even due to carrying me, his shoulders didn't slump down a bit. I felt shocked. My Papá's and Mamá's friends were fucking brutal. They didn't mind making fun of anyone if their weight, height or shape was wrong. They'd made fun of other girls my age, but I was always the center of attention. The type of attention I didn't like. According to modeling agencies, I was the right shape, size and height. But my town's standards said something different, they said I was overweight, and that my hips were too big. I'd felt fucking insecure and tried doing everything to get to my town's standards. But nothing was ever enough. Eventually, I gave up. But this man. This man was carrying me like I didn't weigh a thing.

He led me to the bathroom, which was in contrast with the bedroom. Black, grey and a hint of gold. There was no sign of hair, nails or any dirt in the bathroom, it was spotless. Right ahead, was the bathtub, which was already filled. It was hot water, I assumed by the steam on the glass barrier blocking the shower and toilet.

Leonardo set me down near the sink, and left the bathroom, I assumed to get some clothes. He returned a minute later, with a black shirt and grey sweatpants. He saw me, and for a second I saw something change in his eyes. But it passed as quickly as it came, making me unable to decipher the emotion.

"Take off your clothes, princess" he says, in his usual gruff tone. His voice sounded like whiskey, sun and death. If drinks could have voices, it would be his. It took me a moment to process his words, but when I finally did, panic struck.

He must've sensed the panic, either in my eyes or my stiffness and change in demeanor. "As much as I'd like to take you, it's for you to take a shower" he said. Shaking all the doubts away from me, as a sigh of relief escaped me. I stripped out of my clothes and he watched, his eyes growing more evident with hunger and lust as I took off a piece of garment. By the time I was fully naked, his gaze burning me, swallowing me up whole, piercing through me, taking my breath away.

As I took a step and was taking another, he picked me up yet again, swept me up and slowly put me in the hot water. A moan escaped through me as the warm liquid covered me, shielding me, just a little from his piercing gaze. I don't know wether it was the water or his gaze, which was burning me.

The hot water engulfed me in a hug I didn't know I needed. Massaging my limbs, taking all the pain away. He turned away, and I breathed a short sigh of relief as I watched him take off his watch and roll his sleeves up. Exposing me to his, veiny, long hands. 

He walked to the bathtub and applied shampoo in his hands. My brows furrowed, confusing me, but all my thoughts were taken away when he started massaging my scalp. He lathered the shampoo, and moved his fingers in such a skilled, synchronized way, which made me relax. 

I leaned into the touch.

I relaxed.

I don't remember the last time I was taken care of, I only knew the pain and loneliness surrounding me. My Mamá and I were close, but not close enough. In our lives, you can't depend on anyone, not form attachments. Therefore, we could only talk, no genuine acts, no kisses, no hugs, nothing.

It was all for the media. For our reputations. The hugs, the kisses, the sweet nothing only lasted on the camera, what lied beneath was a facade no-one could crack, murdered if they found out. I never got any type of affection. 

Nothing, nada, zilch.

Sometimes, even I forgot I was human. But though most of the times, I was ducking reminded how lonely I was. When I would have to kill innocents, one's who dared cross Papá, do things I didn't mean to. It was those days I was reminded I was human. When I was alone in my room, with no one to talk to, or seek affection from.

My thoughts must've distracted me, since I was pulled out of the bathtub -and my thoughts- by Leonardo. He wrapped a towel around me, and took me back to his bedroom. I'd expected him to leave, but he came back, with my clothing. I reached out to the clothing, but I was stopped when he took the towel off.

He grabbed the bra, and put it on me. Gently, careful not to hurt me. His fingers were rough, calloused, but at that moment they felt softer than a baby. He then proceeded on at putting my underwear on, then my shirt and finally, my sweatpants. It was then that realization hit me.

He'd dressed me.

It want anything sexual, the act was genuine. But I wasn't dumb or naive enough to think he had left me alone, no. He then left my room, leaving me completely alone with my thoughts, -and his scent- which pulled me back to the reality. He was forcing me into marriage, he was a monster. This was a façade to hide his true face. He was a monster.

Completely oblivious to the fact I zoned out, I heart the door open. Leaving me from my trance of thoughts. It was Leonardo, with some soup and noodles. My favorite . He pulled the movable dining table towards where I was sitting, and put the tray there.

He got a soup spoon, and started feeding me. The taste of vegetable and spice filling my throat, it was no doubt, the best meal. He continued feeding me bit by bit, making sure I swallowed. I knew this was just so I would be nourished, and beautiful for the paparazzi photos. But somewhere deep inside me, a part of me -the numb, lonely part of me,- wanted this to be real. Fro me to accept this, because for the first time, someone took care.

But alas, it was just a mask, but I took it. It was what it was. I was alone, in this cruel world. But I tricked my mind, just this once, into thinking someone cared, into thinking he cared.

A/N:

HELLOO!! Long chapter today!

Alrighty. So I've changed my schedule and I'm gonna post every Thursday and Sunday! Please give me space, and bear with me if it doesn't happen. 

Lots of love,

valeria.