A Craving For Cyanide

A/N: Humanstuck Erikar/Solkat. Love triangle, ehe.

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Your name is Karkat Vantas, and today, it just so happens that you are turning 21 years old. You remember like it was just yesterday that you were in elementary school, doing the stupid and ridiculous things you would do as a child. But, today was the day. No more kidding around. Let's be honest, isn't it everyone's dream to get drunk off their ass on their 21st birthday? Well, maybe not, but for sure, it was yours. And who were you planning on spending it with? Of course, your best friend, Gamzee Makara. And it was going to be motherfucking great. You could hardly calm yourself down for the arriving night. You had to wait for night because that's when Gamzee was off of work. Until later tonight though, you planned on just lazing around. You were grateful for having a birthday on a Saturday, that way you can sleep in the next day and not worry about those goddamn ap classes. College always stressed you out, with all that calculous and advanced placement classes. Math was the hardest for you, the numbers just didn't mash up quite well together. It was sort of like putting together pieces of a puzzle, but it's the fucking sky, which everyone knows is impossible and sooner or later gives up. You tried your hardest on most assignments, but ended up with a C most of the time. If asked what you thought about school, the answer was two words: school sucks.

It took you an hour or two to clean your house, since obviously, your best friend was going to bring a shit ton of people with him. All he told you was, 'Oh, it's only me', but you knew that was bullshit the moment it hit your ears. He wasn't the kind of guy to just come over himself, there was going to be at least 20 or more people. You rolled your eyes at the thought, and once done cleaning, plopped on your couch. You still had two entire hours before all those people were going to come. Deciding to just watch a movie, you pulled out your laptop, setting it on your lap as you opened netflix and picked one of your favorite movies, Grownups. The plot was great, and comedies weren't too bad. As the beginning credits began rolling, a chat window came up. Oh fuck, not again.

--caligulasAquariam [CA] began pestering carcinoGenisist [CG] at 5:04 pm--

CA: hey there

CG: Really, what the fuck is it NOW, Eridan?

CA: damn a guy cant fuckin say hi

CA: whats up your ass

CG: I was trying to watch a movie, dipshit.

CA: one of your sappy romcoms i bet

CA: am i right

CG: Hey, about about no.

CG: And it's a great movie, man. Never diss Grownups.

CA: pfthaha

CA: yeah ok sure

CA: anyways i wanted to wish you happy birthday

CG: I never have happy birthdays, fuck that.

CG: I do appreciate the thought a little though. Thanks.

CA: yeah no problem

CA: so i heard from gam youre plannin on gettin drunk tonight

CA: who knows you might even score a chick

CG: Haha, if I do, my gossip bro would definitely be the first to know.

CG: You think I'd get lucky? I mean, winning the lotto is lucky, but me getting laid?

CG: There's always a chance.

CA: oho you know it man

CA: try not to drown in ladies kar