A Craving For Cyanide

Deja Vu?

A/N: Told from Eridan's perspective.

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"Ampora?" His voice was laced with a bit of a slur. You liked the way it echoed through the moderately cold, empty room. Automatically you could feel him put a hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. It was as if Karkat had known you were pretending to sleep. You never were the greatest liar, but there was one thing you're great at that most people aren't.

Suppressing emotions.

You didn't want to think about that right now, you felt it wasn't really right for this situation. Blinking your eyes a few times, you stared up at the boy, or now, adult, who had sunlight peaking through the window and onto his skin warmly. You were really glad to see him like this, and now? He did something he would rarely do.

He smiled at you.

This had to be a dream, because since when does Karkat smile a smile so genuine and sincere? It was too good to be true, but yet, this felt like reality at its finest. His smile reflected back off your face, and here you were, two smiling idiots sharing a bed.

Platonically, of course. The other way would be weird.

It wasn't too soon before Karkat was laying down right next to you, eyes gazing right back into yours. Your legs curled up more and you listened to the sheets making that small rustling sound it would make. It felt intoxicating, silence roaming in the air, but it was the good kind. And you liked that. You enjoyed the presence of Karkat, and it just felt great, as of now you just wanted to lay right next to the black-haired and cuddle. Wait, no. That made no sense. He was your bro, and bros don't do that to bros. That would be weird, so you just stopped thinking those those thoughts. They were useless and weren't going to get you anywhere. So just stop.

Without much warning, Karkat smoothly leaned closer to you, his face inches away from yours. Karkat usually wasn't this fucking cuddly, that made no sense, obviously he was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, which made a frown appear on your lips. You would prefer if he was actually aware of all the things he was doing, and remember them. That probably wouldn't happen, so you made a mental note to not bring it up later. Unless you wanted to tease him, which was a different story than now.

"Kar, what are you-" You mumbled, only to be caught off by Kakart nuzzling against the crook of your neck.

"Eridan, you're super warm, did you know that?"

Seeing the black-haired boy like this made your stomach churn. How the fuck could he act so snuggly- drunk or not. It was downright weird.

"Uh, no? Well, I never really feel it-" Once again, interrupted. It was beginning to get annoying now, and it only made your frown grow a bit bigger.

"'Cuz you-" He paused for a moment and let out a quick hiccup. "are, and i really like it." Karkat let out a giggle, smiling widely into the crook of your neck.

Being the good friend you are, you wrapped a weak arm around the drunk and pulled him a bit closer, closing your blue eyes in frustration. He was like a goddamn child, you were tempted to ask him if he wanted his 'blanky', however, you refrained yourself from doing so. "Just go to sleep, asshole. It's like, almost seven in the fucking morning."

You never were a morning person. Mornings were just shit, anyways. Dumb birds chirping, dumb sun, dumb school, dumb everything. You absolutely loathed mornings, but something about this one had a different feeling to it. Again, you shrugged it off and dismissed the feeling as nothing, though this strangely felt like a case of deja vu.

Karkat didn't seem to hear you when you told him to go the fuck to sleep. You sighed to yourself as you found the boy, sleeping as if he were dead, in your arms- and in such a quick time too that it could be in the Guinness World Record book. You mentally chuckled in your head at your sarcasm. Being sarcastic was a thing you sometimes unintentionally did, and about 20% of the time, you aren't aware that you're coming off as a sarcastic asshole who should drop raw onions in his eyes. What could you say, it was just who you are. Close friends knew that you were joking, but then again, you didn't have much friends over a stupid rumor someone spread about you, saying you were a 'pimp' or 'whore', or something along the lines. Another thing, people also liked to fuck with you. Not literally, metaphorically. Karkat was the only one there to really help you cope and shit. You really appreciated that from him, though, you would really wish to thank him someday. But obviously not right now, he's asleep, for fuck's sake.

But damn, did he look peaceful in his sleep. Your arm seemed perfectly fine the way it was wrapped around Karkat, and hell, you didn't mind the warmth either. With a smile plastered to your lips, you pulled the comforter so it was covering both of you. And for a while, you just laid down, staring at the ceiling for the longest-ass time, thoughts roaming and circling around your brain, as if it were a broken record that kept repeating itself. Eventually, you ended up falling asleep. Thinking really tires you out.

You woke up exactly the way you fell asleep- staring at the ceiling. But, you felt as if something was lacking. Something important. You looked to your left, and saw nobody there. No warmth, no cuddles, nothing. The radio was playing, but at a low volume. This really brung a feeling of nostalgia to you, especially the song that was playing.

'I wanna be drunk when I wake up,

On the right side of the wrong bed.'

And it continued. The song made your heart form in knots, and you felt genuinely confused about these emotions. Hopefully they wouldn't last that long, and you prayed they wouldn't show on your sleeves. All you know, is it felt like an indescribable case of deja vu, which brought an aftertaste of cyanide in your mouth. Fire that was soon going to be brighter, as well as larger. You knew, this was only going to be the calm before the storm- you could only hold it in so longer before you began to show it. For the moment, you just wanted to go into a deep sleep, never waking up to see if the fire was still burning, or if it was extinguished.