Disrepair

Chapter 5

It's been a week since the special news report, and Kylie has shut herself in to hide. Since the report that morning she's been stressed, wondering if one of her neighbors will call in about her, give her away and turn her in.

Her room is covered in trash and messy clothes, she hasn't showered in a few days, and she doesn't even eat more than once each day. Her mind is riddled with guilt over what she's done, and how many have died due to her actions and mistakes.

Kylie hears a knock on her door, the 10th time today, as Olivia comes to bring her some dinner. "Leave me alone Liv" Kylie tells her.

"Come on, it's been a week since anyone last saw you. Come out, I've got some dinner for you" Olivia asks.

"Leave it by the door," Kylie tells her.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong Kylie? I'm concerned for your health, you haven't been eating enough, you've been sleeping too much each day, and you stay there in your room locked away like a hermit. At least just let me in" Olivia replies.

Kylie stands up, rising slowly from her bed, and she unlocks the door. Then she returns to her spot on the floor, sitting near the foot end of her bed. As Olivia enters she briefly stops in her tracks, only for a split second as the smell hits her nose. She continues on though, not wanting Kylie to see that she's noticed, and she places the plate of food onto her bed.

"How have you been feeling?" Olivia asks, kneeling down in front of her to sit on the carpet.

"I feel like a failure, like I should die for what I've done" Kylie answers, her voice not at all hiding her sadness and regret. "I can't stop thinking about that day. He left me alone in the lab, he trusted me. I thought I was doing good for him, that I could make my boss proud. I thought I may get a small promotion, or at least get more responsibilities. But instead I lost it all, and caused others to lose even more."

"Kylie...listen, it was an accident. I'm not sure how I can help you to feel better, but you have to try to forgive yourself. If you don't, this grief, this regret you're feeling, it will only eat away at you. I've had this happen to me before, to someone special in my life. I don't want you to take the same path they did" Olivia tells her.

"Liv, I..." Kylie says quietly. She wants to ask what she means, what path Olivia wants her to avoid. But at the same time, she can't ask. She can only accept Olivia's words for now. Olivia had listened to her, and it's time she listened back.

"You don't need to say anything. I'm here for you Kylie, as a close friend, I want to help you. I should leave you to eat now, unless you want me to stay?" Olivia asks, waiting for a reply. Kylie reaches up for the plate, not giving her an answer. "Okay, I'll go then. If you need anything, please come to me. I'll be in my room if you want to talk more, or to hang out."

Olivia leaves her room, and Kylie starts to eat. As sad as she might be, as impossible as it was for her to feel happy this past week, eating something tasty her friend made does bring a smile to her face. Feeling a little better after she ate, she stands up and opens her door. Coming down the hall she brings her plate to the kitchen, rinsing it off in the sink before returning to her room. Standing there in the middle of her carpet, she looks at the mess around her. She steps through her old clothes laid out, and she takes out a plastic bag from the closet. She collects the trash and ties the bag, setting it by her door. Then she puts her clothes in a bin to be cleaned, and she makes her room look cleaner. She showers, then gets some sleep. Morning comes and Kylie leaves her room, joining Olivia and her other roommates in the kitchen.

"Look who it is, feeling better today?" Olivia asks when she sees her.

"Yeah, I'm feeling okay" Kylie replies as she stops at the counter.