Angels At Night

#1 : Take me for a ride

I have gotten used to a life without him. I think. 

Lumamig na ang ramen na inorder ko kanina kaka-titig sa tila sumasayaw na puting tiles ng isang liblib na shop dito. I lie lowed after our band's sudden disappearance, I actually overhead someone said that: the Flowers In Antarctica has imploded. I wanted to disagree, I want to still continue but I know it's the end. Hanggang dito nalang talaga kami.

I gulped so hard. Just thinking about what happened makes me sick to my stomach, it left me broken; Shattered even but I still have to continue living.

I was lost in my thoughts while I suddenly saw a scared gaze of the little girl who served me my food. I didn't bother to look behind.

I heard a cracking, breaking, shattering of everything. Nothing different compared to ny thoughts if I close my eyes.

Inilapad ng bata ang palad nya bago sumenyas na pumasok ako, umiling ako at nanatili sa upuan ko. If nasapak ako, ayos lang. Masyado nang malalim ang nasa isip ko para problemahin ko pa ang simpleng suntukan lang.  I grew up in a place like this, why be bothered?

I continued to eat the cold noodles until the breaking stopped.

**

I didn't know why, I turned around and I got deja vu. The guy beaten up like an orange pulp reminded me of him. The only person I have ever loved, and the only person who loved me.

I can't help it, my legs moved on it's own and suddenly I'm sitting infront of him examining his bruises. "Does this hurt?" I tried lightly pressing on a violet spot near his temple. He squinted his eyes as a response to the pain my gentle ring finger brought.

"That didn't hurt, ang OA mo. " I looked for other bleeding wounds in his face and palm.

I grew up in this filthy town. Napapalibutan ng mga taong nasa laylayan na ng lipunan. Gunshots, buy bust operation, and dark alleys is something really common and you most probably will encounter in here everday. Matapos iwan ng nanay, tatay ko na ang walang nagawa kundi panagutan ang responsibilidad niya sa akin. Too bad he died before every corner here on earth knows who I was.

Noong bata pa ako, I had this friend. His name's Adam and we met exactly how I met this random guy. Ever since that day, bringing bandage and gauze pad became a habit for me. For some reason, every where he go, there's always gotta be a riot. Back then I told him that maybe the riot follows him.

As I search, I can feel his soft fluffy blond hair brushing through my fingers.

"Ayan okay na, tara na." Aya ko bago kunin ang shoulder bag ko at hatakin ng onti ang daliri nya. I didn't look behind but since his very tall, I felt a tower standing at my back.

"Papunta san?" Tanong niya

"Palabas, bakit kakain ka pa talaga?"

He just tilted his head and followed me. Mababa ang kesame ng karinderya kaya naman naka yuko siya. Tsaka ko lang talaga narealize kung gaano siya katangkad noong nakalabas na kami at naka tayo na siya ng tuwid.

His bike was shattered, definitely by those guys  who beat him up. He was trying to find if there's any way to fix it when he suddenly looked at me. One eyebrow raised.

"Ano? Bakit nandito ka pa?"

"Sasama malamang, hello do you really expect me to walk this dark alley 2 am in the morning?" I pointed at my silver wrist watch. He rolled his eyes and placed his hands backwards on the ground, placing his weight on it.

He starred at the sky, too bad there aren't any stars visible. Unlike before.
He probably values the bike so much.

"It isn't working anymore, maglalakad lang din ako pauwi. Hindi kita iahahatid, malapit lang ang sakayan sa amin so kaya mo na yon lakarin. Wag ka nalang tatanga tanga." He stood up and grabbed his helmet sitting on the ground.

"I'm not going home, I don't want to go home." Umiling ako.

***

Naglakad kami papunta sa bahay nila, of course tulak tulak ang napaka laki niyang motorbike.  "Kung hindi ka uuwi san ka?" Tanong niya pagpasok namin.

It was very dark inside, hindi ko alam kung bakit walang takot akong pumasok. I barely know this guy and the only thing I know about him is he's the one who started the fight sa karinderya kanina. So why?

"I was hoping I could come with you. Well, sa bahay ka lang din pala pupunta." Dismayadong pag amin ko. I don't really know where to go, if I go back home baka ipagtabuyan lang ako roon. Swerte ko na nga lang at nasa akin pa ang wallet ko. Sa dilim ba naman ng lugar na ito, imposibleng walang nagmamanman saakin.

"Malapit na ang sakayan dito, alis na. Shoo" pinagpag nya ang kanyang kamay, senyas ng pagtaboy saakin. "Ganyan ka ba pinalaki na tumanggap ng bisita? Tubig naman oh, pinag tulak mo kaya ako!" Umupo ako sa isang silya.

"Tsaka bakit ba ang dilim? Asan ang switch?"

Ani ko bago buksan ang flashlight ng mismong cellphone ko. Nang mahanap ko ay dali dali ko namang binuksan. 

He came out bringing a brown paper bag on his right hand while a glass full of water naman sa kaliwa.

"Hindi mo ba talaga ako sasamahan?" Paawa akong tumingin bago pilyong ngumiti.

"Nice try." Wika niya sabay agaw ng baso ng tubig sa kamay ko at tuluyan akong itulak palabas.

Bumuntong hininga ako at sinapo ang noo. I don't really know what to do anymore, I was feeling dizzy; sakto at nakakita ako ng sira at lumang pulang kotse. Fortunately 'di pa sira ang pintuan kaya naman dali dali kong pinagpagan ang backseat at hinulog ang sarili dito.

My head feels so light but heavy at the same time. So much had happened today and I can't even process a thing. I can feel a tear falling to the temple of my face whilst I lie down, reminiscing about the days where I felt alive and inspired.

Sinugal ko buong buhay ko para sa 'pangarap' na 'to 'e! Baka masampal lang ako kung uuwi ako sa probinsya naming walang trabaho at hindi tapos ng kolehiyo.

****

Nagising ako nang bigla akong mahulog sa upuan ng kotse dahil sa lakas ng preno ng kotse. Sumapol pa ang balakang ko sa kung anong kalat ang nasa ilalim ng nanlilimahid na kotse.

"Aray!" Naupo akong muli habang hawak ang balakang ko. Laking gulat ko nalang nang makita ko kung sino ang nagmamaneho. Buong akala ko naman ay sira na ang kotse, it was dark last night and even so, the car itself looks like a piece of junk!

"Ikaw nanaman? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" Inis na sabi ng lalaki kagabi.

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Hi dear reader mahal ko! I'm your author yosu, and evidently and obviously this is the first story that I will publish (hopefully can). I hope that you can all guide me pinpoint errors and mistakes I may have made because I will totes appreciate it. That is all lovelots!