Salvation {h.s}

nine

[PART ONE OF THE DOUBLE UPDATE]

You're more than your pain.

You're more than your pain. 

You're more—

My eyes snap open as I jolt up in bed, my heart racing. Cold sweat gathers on my skin as I look around the room and my head falls into my trembling hands, my mind trying to escape the confines of my own nightmare. 

It was too vivid this time. I can still feel the cold wet clothes between my fingers.

Images of that moment keep playing in my mind like a broken record, making it difficult to focus on anything else. My chest feels heavy and tears blur my vision as I sit on my bed, desperately trying to process what's going on in my head. The silence of the room is deafening, filled only with the sound of my laboured breathing and occasional choked-up sobs.

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down, but the memories keep flooding in like a tidal wave. My mind is a battlefield, a never-ending war between the past and present. The memories are so graphic, so real, that I can feel the pain and the fear all over again.

My hands are shaking as I reach for my phone on my nightstand, searching for something—anything, that could help me take away this feeling of despair that's weighing down on me. After scrolling through endless shit, someone knocks at the door which snaps me out of this weird blanking moment.

I hesitantly get off the bed, feeling unsteady and unsure of myself. As I approach the door, the knocking becomes more persistent. My thoughts are jumbled and chaotic, but I manage to unlock the door.

In front of me stands Harry in dark green swimming shorts and a creamy white flannel but he's topless underneath. "Sorry, did I wake you?" He coughs and keeps switching his look between me and the ground as I fully open the door. His eyes are bloodshot. "No, no, I was awake," I manage to stutter out, trying to compose myself as I take in his appearance.

"Are you okay?" His green eyes seem to be searching my face for something, and I have the sudden urge to tell him that I woke up with cold sweat running down my back and that I was terrified to even close my eyes again but it's wrong.

I have to keep my personal problems to myself. Because how do you tell someone that you're drowning in your own memories? That every time you close your eyes, you're back in that moment?

"I'm fine," I force a smile. "Just couldn't sleep, that's all."

Harry doesn't look convinced, but he lets it go. "I rented a yacht for today, wanna come with us?" He asks as I look out the window to see Mitch and Kid getting the boat ready and bringing all sorts of boxes and baskets inside.

A part of me wants to decline the offer, to stay cocooned in my own misery, but another part of me is desperate to escape my own thoughts because that's honestly part of the reason I came here. I nod my head before answering, "Sure, I'd love to."

As we walk towards the dock, I notice that the sun is already high in the sky, casting a warm glow across the water. The smell of salt and ocean fills my nostrils, and I breathe it in deeply, trying to shake off the last remnants of my nightmare.

"How do you feel?" I ask and point to his mouth. Yesterday felt like a fever dream.

"Hungover as fuck, can't really feel my tongue," He shrugs and it makes me chuckle a little at the way he talks. He reaches into his pockets and brings out a few white pills, popping all of them into his mouth and swallowing dry. My curiosity tells me to ask him what are they but I stay silent.

Once we reach the yacht, Mitch, Kid and Sarah greet us with wide grins as they help us aboard. Tyler sits in the back, smoking something that looks like weed. The yacht is stunning, with polished wooden floors and plush leather seats. The sound of the waves is soothing, and I let my mind relax as we start to sail away from the shore.