What It All Means

My Confusing Love Life.....

I sit on the bleachers for my sixth period. I stare at him, beautiful him. I've never noticed how cute Asians were before. Now that I think about it they are just........I think you know what comes next. Not to mention the fact that he's tall too. The guys I have liked have all happened to be short. I see him as an outcast, a loner ,maybe even someone who wanted to be like everyone else but couldn't. So he did what I did he sat back and watched. The truth is I see some of me in him. I believe all of these things but yet something inside says "Are you seeing just what you assume and what you have seen on the surface. You see things that other don't see of his surface and you have no real proof that he is what you see but yet you believe." In my heart I know it doesn't make sense and this could all be a mistake but I cant let this go.......I don't want too I've never felt this way about someone and the way the world is changing I don't think I'm ever going to find someone like him. It's extremely odd because how could I feel this way about someone who I haven't even held a conversation with, I mean I don't love him because unlike a lot of people I know what love is. He doesn't know me or who I am. I know it's sad. My plan is that I will try to get to know him and If something is not right then I'm most defiantly turning the other way. My heart flutter finally a guy that's cute, tall, Asian, and like me. The fact that I can have a relationship with someone who doesn't have to be like everyone and fall under the evils of this world is one of those things that you have no words for. Maybe I can show him the love that carries and drives me . Maybe I can bless him and show him JOY. I smile there's so much hope in a thin atmosphere filled with lost people. Not a soul knows about this and I think I should keep it that way. I don't want to broadcast my business everywhere especially where there could be a situation as which he finds out against my will. The good thing is that none of my friends know him except some of them but they don't talk much. I'm not gonna lie I am a little scared of what my friends will think. Now I know that I said I want to get to know him but then I said I don't want him to find out that I like him so your most likely confused. When I do get to know him I want to get to know him as a friend then when the time is right tell him that I like him. I hope it doesn't sound as if I'm using his friendship for bad motives but that's not the truth I really do want to be his friend even if things don't work out. I want to share the awesomeness of friendship with him. The bell rings but the bell is overcome by the commotion of a gym full of loud mouths. A flood of people rush with no consideration of others through the doors.