Johnlock oneshots

Sherlock vs brownie

Sherlock Holmes was an extraordinary man. He didn't do things that normal people did, he didn't care about (nearly) everything. He was his own master and nobody could make him do what he wouldn't like to. But he would do anything and everything for one particular man, John Hamish Watson. 

John was a soldier, an army doctor, he was a kind, loyal, brave (and the list goes on) human being who Sherlock adored and loved the most. He was his conductor of light.

And Sherlock Holmes (like it was said before) would do anything that would make his John smile. Like bringing him to a crime scene, or watching stupid TV shows with him on stormy nights, or planning something for his birthday…

"John, we're out of milk again!" Sherlock shouted, the (not empty) milk box carefully hidden behind his back.

"Again? I went out yesterday and bought three, I'll repeat, three milks. How could we run out of it?" He asked, turning around in his seat. He was writing his blog, publishing a new story of the two of them.

"I used them for an experiment." Sherlock lied, putting the milk into the counter.

"But- "

"John, we need milk, go out and buy some!" He ordered, but added quickly a "Please." as he saw the sick look in John's eyes. The army doctor sighed deeply, shouting down his laptop.

"Why can't you go out and buy some?" He asked, confused, but was already picking up his jacket. Sherlock didn't respond, just shooed John out of the flat. "Lazy git," he heard John muttering under his nose as he walked down the steps. Sherlock peeked out of the kitchen, and when he heard the front door closing, he quickly put his science equipments away and took the milk out of the counter where he had hidden it before. John was gone, he was alone, and he could finally begin with his plan.

When once John was watching a movie and fell asleep during the ads running on the screen, Sherlock saw Jamie Oliver cooking a brownie and thought it would be really easy to make. He decided he will make this for John, since John's birthday was coming closer.

And today it was the day, the anniversary of John's birth, and Sherlock had planned everything. He bribed the closest shops' owners to hide all the milks for today, so John would be away for a few long hours, so Sherlock could make the brownie in peace.

He took the recipe out of his trousers' pockets and folded it out, running his icy eyes through the lines.

"So we'll need 360g sugar, 200g chocolate, 250g butter, 65g flour, 80g cocoa powder, 4 eggs and 1 teaspoon baking powder." He read out loud. "Okay, let's start it then." He murmured. It can't be that hard now, can it? You just have to follow the orders. It's like a science lesson in school, right? He thought, then picked a dish up and placed it on the table, then looked back at the recipe. "First step; preheat the oven to 356°F." Sherlock stepped to the oven and turned it on. "Done, second step; mix the dry ingredients (sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, flour) together." He took the dish and tore the flour's box up, the white powder flying everywhere, covering his clothes and curls. "For God's sake!" He cursed and poured the flour into the dish, taking the other ingredients and poured them next to the flour, half of the ingredients landing on the table. "Whoops." He said, then glanced around (just in case anyone was there) then swept the powders into the dish. "Good." He said contentedly and ruffled his hair, forgetting that flour and other food powder were sticking to his hands. He should probably clean up later. "Third step; put the butter and chocolate together and mix it together until they boil." He put down the paper and went to the oven, butter and chocolate in both hands. He threw them into a dish, then turned the oven on again. He took a spoon and started to mix them together. He watched impatiently as the chocolate started to melt. "Hurry up, I didn't plan to spend my whole life mixing you two!" He frowned at the melting ingredients. The butter and chocolate must not have heard him, because they didn't hurry with the melting. "Ah!" Sherlock huffed and left them there and returned to the other ingredients. "So, we're waiting for step three, okay step four; mix the chocolate and the mixed dry ingredients together." He looked back at the chocolate. It was still looking the same. "I think we can skip this, I'll do it later." He said and read what step five was. "Add the eggs to the cream." He read and sighed. "I can add the chocolate later." He said, then broke the eggs and threw them into the dish - one landing on the floor accidently. He mixed the things together and looked proudly at his work. He glanced towards the chocolate and saw contentedly that the chocolate had melted. He mixed it together with the other ingredients, chocolate covering his hands. It took a while to stir it to a clear cream - at least he thought it was clear. "Step six; put it into the oven for 25 minutes." He did as he was told and waited. He turned around and found himself in a (very) messy kitchen: one egg was lying on the floor, the flour and cocoa powder were spread on the table, the dish in which he had been mixing the chocolate and butter was thrown away, leaving chocolate spots on the table. "I should clean this up a bit." He murmured reluctantly and sighed tiredly.

After everything was cleaned up, he heard the front door closing. Just in time, the oven made a "beep" sound and he quickly picked the brownie out and put it down on the table. He thought he was going to explode when he saw the burnt monster staring up at him. "Shit." He hissed. He looked at the picture on the recipe. It didn't look like the brownie Sherlock'd made. Great, he ruined John's surprise!

"Sherlock, I'm home!" He heard John and pushed the brownie behind his back. "Sher- Oh my God!" John said as he saw the flour and chocolate-covered Sherlock. "What happened?" He asked angrily. The detective shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the floor. If you don't look up at John, he won't know what you'd done. He thought. "And what's this burnt smell?" John asked suspiciously. Sherlock shrugged his shoulders again. "Wait…" He said, then put the things together. "You were trying to bake?" He asked in disbelief. Sherlock sighed deeply before answering.

"Yep…" He said, ashamed. He couldn't believe he couldn't make a damn brownie - the easiest thing that was ever baked. "It was an experiment." John bit the inside of his cheeks.

"And it has nothing to do with my birthday." He said and Sherlock looked up at him with a small smile.

"Maybe a tiny bit." He admitted and took the brownie which was behind his back. "But I have to disappoint you, John. It turned out that baking is not as easy as I first thought." He said and John laughed. "I'm sorry I ruined your birthday." Sherlock said sadly. He wanted so much to impress his doctor, he didn't think about what would happen if he didn't manage to make his plan.

John shook his head immediately.

"You didn't ruin my birthday, Sherlock." He said and went to the other man. "You tried to make me a bloody brownie, even though you hate everything which has to do with work - except solving crimes." John reassured him and pecked his boyfriend's lips. "The thought of you trying to bake is enough as a birthday present." He said teasingly and Sherlock groaned.

"It would be even better if we could eat it." He argued, looking down at the black food. John smiled lovingly at him, being touched at how the high functioning sociopath tried to bake him a brownie.

"It's okay Love. We could eat Mrs. Hudson's biscuits, cause I'm sure she's made some." John said and kissed Sherlock again. Sherlock leaned into his touch and kissed him back. John tangled his fingers in the curls of Sherlock's hair, flour falling out of them. He smiled and pulled back. "Come on. Let's go down to Mrs. Hudson." He stood on his tip toes and whispered into the detective's ears: "And I have a surprise for you as well." He said in a low voice which made Sherlock's knees go weak.

"What are we waiting for then?" He asked and pulled John downstairs.

"Sherlock?"

"Yes?"

"You should take a shower before we go downstairs, you know."