Illusory | ✓

i l l u s o r y : 16

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I L L U S O R Y : 16

Silence. It's all that welcomes me when I run outside of my house. Everyone is asleep, people who aren't anywhere near me are within bars and gentlemen clubs. They're far away from me that I don't have to hear their drunken or sexual slurs to others or to me. In this small neighborhood I'm the only movement of a silhouette of a person running towards my backyard. It's enough of a movement though for Oliver to wake up and poke his head out from the dog house, his eyes plastered on me with confusion and irritation.

He doesn't bark though, not that he has enough time to, when I run past him and in the direction of the woods. He starts following me but the sound of his leash pulling him back is mere light background noise as I leave him behind and cross upon the same pathway that I haven't walked upon since two years ago.

Reaching my hand up, I grip my cross necklace tightly, as though to coax my thoughts and send more light through me instead of the darkness of my childhood demon. I feel him in the air, watching me, judging me, waiting for the right moment to strike. I won't let him strike again, I'm not the five year old version of me, the version of me that just stood there and allowed him to say threatening words to me. His vision to me, his warning through my mind, it's enough of a sign to me that enough is enough and I'm not letting him take away another part of my happiness again.

I can do all things through Christ....I think to myself, as I memorize the scripture in my head, knowing that I can do all things through Christ, and that he strengthens me. Yet with the branches scraping against my light weight jacket and the thundering of my heart in my chest, seconds away from erupting through my flesh and bone I still feel my body quiver at the thought of me failing and being killed and having my soul damned for the rest of eternity.

I reach the familiar cluster of tress and bushes that I last saw two years ago. Only this time there's overgrowth and it's apparent that no one has made their way towards the lake this way in a long time. Sure people used to go past my backyard years ago during the summer to go through the familiar pathway to the lake but ever since Jared died I know that they don't want to have any chances in running into me or my parents. Especially us, since we're the sad and mourning people, the ones who lost a teenage boy in our family, well that and who would want to come across us anyway even if Jared didn't die when it comes to us being able to communicate with ghosts?

Taking one last deep breath of air, knowing that everything is about to change either for the better or for worse I keep my eyes forward before I push the branches away for me to walk through. As soon as I make my way onto the sight of the lake the change in the temperature changes drastically. It's below freezing and my breath can be seen fanning in front of my lips as I take breaths. It's not the temperature that makes me shiver though, it's the sight of Bridger making his way towards the lake that sends me shivering.

Just like the dream, the warning, the vision, or whatever it was, Bridger looks as though he's merely sleep walking but I know he's not. The black mass around his body reassures my fears that he's being mind controlled by my childhood demon and will soon be taken into the waters before I can blink.

I slowly creep away from the opening of the trees and towards the lake. The bible in my lightweight jacket is enough of a weight that I can feel that I know that I've not come empty handed. Bridger stops at the edge of the waters, in his navy blue boxers. His hair is messed up, and his beautiful silver eyes are dull at the moment. Anything that would look as though he's aware of what's happening has been drained.

"B-Bridger," I whisper his name as I stop next to him and reach my hand up to touch his cheekbone. The black mass swirls away from my hand and when I touch his skin he feels as though he's already crossed over to death. A few tears drip down my cheekbones, and I know that my heart is silently breaking at this being reality now.