Wasn't I dead?

Hospital pudding

The one thing I hate about being in hospitals has got to be the smell. It's a weirdly almost too clean smell that has slightly chemical tinge to it. Its unnerving to me and the smell is everywhere. It's like every room is a clean blank slate where you have no idea what could've happened in the room prior.

That's one of the reasons why I didn't want to come the hospital in the first place. I kinda preferred to die at my house surrounded by my familiar smells. The slight smell of coffee from a stain that never came out the carpet and the papery smells of worn books on my bookshelf. Small weird and odd smells that bring a surprising amount of comfort.

I kept my mouth shut though. Mainly for my folks sake cause they thought that the extra medical care would make me more comfortable. I wasn't bout to tell 'em otherwise. The constant flow of drugs that numbs a good majority of the pain is good don't get me wrong but am I comfortable? Nah.Dying is never comfortable I think.

Good ole stage 4 colon cancer is my terminal illness. I got diagnosed 6 months ago. By then it had progressed to a level far beyond curable. Doc said if they caught it sooner they could've done more. That tidbit felt unnecessary to say to me. Why tell me if I came in two months earlier I would've had a fighting chance? Literally changes nothing.

Think positive. I thought sarcastically repeating my moms motto for the last couple months. I look on the clock from my the hospital bed I'm sitting on and smiled for a bit. It about time for a certain hot nurse to come around.

I heard a soft chuckle and look up to see my hospital room neighbor Mrs.Bella Quarles leaning in the hallway. Bella is the full little old lady package with her gray hair,withered pale skin, and happy gran vibes. She a 5 foot nothing lady in her 70s who's got probably got more energy than I ever did when I was healthy.

She came to the hospital after suffering a pretty severe fall that broke her leg. She says she could've been home already but her family are bunch of worry warts who insists on her recovering at the hospital in case complications arise. I thought it was sweet but she finds it annoying.

I've made it this far haven't I?! A fall would be too anticlimactic of an end. She'd argue. I have to admit I've been liking  her company for the last week. We strangely have gotten close in the short time we've known each other. I blame it on both sets of my grandparents dying when I was little. I'm in severe need of some grandma vibes.

"Waiting for Mr.Buff Nurse to come by Laura?" Bella said with a smile hobbling with some crutches to the chair in my room.  She falls on the chair with a slight huff.

"No idea what you're talking about." I snorted as if offended by the thought "I'm enjoying my book." I said holding the book up that was in my lap.

"Oh well guess you don't care that I saw a certain someone coming down the hall then." She said nonchalantly leaning back in the chair.

I startled and discreetly tried smoothing what I know is mess of short curls on my head. I then grab my phone and I flipped the camera to face me.

I wince slightly at bags under my brown eyes and the sunken look of my cheeks. My brown skin was looking a little ashy in some places so I quickly leaned over to get some moisturizer. After a quick application, I looked up my button nose for bats in the cave and parted my lips a little and blew into my hand to smell my breath.

Looking up from my phone I saw the smug look on Bellas face and came to realization that my guy in scrubs isn't down the hall.

"Why do you do that?"I say exasperated.

"It's funny to see you act like act your age.You try to act so mature all the time. Which one of us is the nineteen year old girl and the seventy year old lady here?" I roll my eyes at the statement and put down my phone.