Guy reluctantly kissed Mildred on the mouth, her long, flowing dress the pale white of death. The death of his heterosexuality. The priest asked if anyone had any objections. Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing Captain Beatty, fuming to see his lover married to such a dimwit! How DARE Montag do this to him! How dare him!
"I object!" he shouted, walking over to Guy and kissing him deeply on the mouth. Mildred's mouth was agape. Her groom couldn't help but blush.
"I-I'm sorry, Mildred. I don't love you anymore. I'd much rather be married to someone who actually cares about me, someone who loves me, someone who supports me and my needs." Montag sighed.
"D-do you take Mr. Beatty to b-" the priest continued.
"That's CAPTAIN Beatty to you!" Beatty interrupted.
"Okay... Do you take Captain Beatty to be your groom?"
"Yes. I do."
"And, do you take Mr. Montag to be your groom?"
"I do, dammit!"
"Well, I pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the... the... other... husband." Guy and Beatty embraced eachother and kissed eachother passionately. It was a great day for everyone except Mildred. Mildred, in a fit of rage, stormed across the road, got hit by a car and died.
