Honey
March 11th
I sat on the back deck with a cup of tea and Charlotte resting in my lap. I had just finished writing Syd's letter, and was now about to call her mom since she's been reaching out to me lately.
I grabbed my phone from the chair that I was in before and unlocked it, going to her call log where I called her and put the phone on speaker.
She answered almost instantly, her voice booming through the speaker. "Hello?"
"Hi.." I started off, not really knowing what to say just yet. "Honey, are you alright, boo?" She started, her southern accent filling my ears.
"Yes ma'am. How are you guys back home?" I asked her, she moved around a bit before going silent. "Oh Honey we're fine, we're all worried about you."
"And Sydney?"
"She's... I pray for that child everyday but I haven't seen any signs of her bettering herself. She's throwing herself into work, she's not doing well mentally but she's trying so hard not to let that effect her physical health.."
"She's telling everyone she's alright, but a mother knows.." She said as if she was tired, I sighed.
"Do you know if she got my letter? I asked her, she hummed. "She did, I can tell they're bothersome as well to her." She let me know, I licked my lips and went silent while trying to figure out my next words.
"How's the baby?" She asked me, taking me out of my thoughts. "She's doing fine, kicking and active as ever now." I told her while rubbing my huge stomach, feeling my little girl wherever I touched.
"That's great, when are you dropping?" She asked me, I sighed. "Any day now, she's not tryna come." I caressed my stomach once more, she stopped kicking knowing I was talking about her which made me grin.
"I think I'm ready to come back, I just don't wanna go into labor on the road." I admitted while watching as Charlotte began to purr and paw at my belly. "Honey.. you know.. all throughout my relationship with Sydney's father. We tussled and argued every night and day.." She started, I furrowed my eyebrows at the mention.
"Dejon stayed away from home with my mother, and Lia wasn't born yet.. so Sydney was my only child to constantly witness this all throughout her childhood." She continued, I sat staring into space while trying to visualize everything as she told me.
"I can't tell you how many times she ended up in the middle of our fight, or if she was the reason we were fighting. But Sydney endured it all, and she was very close with her daddy growing up. I hate that so much, it put a strain on our relationship and it was never the same from there.."
"God rest his soul, I love him so much but lord knows he was no good for me. Curse him for whatever he drilled into her head, took her around, and let her experience. She was a little boy to him, and I couldn't argue that much. Because no matter how much I tried, I couldn't pull them apart. And when that man left, he took my baby with him. Syd hasn't been stable mentally since. Her mind roams, and she thinks and see the world differently from us. Different from anyone I know.."
Me as well. I thought.
"In a way I think her father is living through her, because of some of the things she does and says. We're not gonna get into her relationship history or what she's done, because I also feel like you've changed her somewhat. She's still the son her daddy wanted, but somewhere in her heart she's fighting to become a better person. And she's not all the way there yet, I don't want you going through what I went through and I damn sure don't want my grandbabies going through that either. If you get what I'm saying—."
