Hunger

August (part 3)

A heart attack. Frankie's dad had had a heart attack. They called it 'sudden cardiac death due to a cardiac arrest'. He was gone. 

"It will have been peaceful," a doctor told her. "His heart just stopped beating." 

Frankie sat in silence across from her mum at the hospital. Mum was drinking a cup of tea and doing her best to keep things together. She had cried a lot, the puffiness around her eyes gave that away. But at the time being, she was gathering strength from a cup of weak tea, drawn in a vending machine. 

As soon as Frankie had hung up the phone, she had broken down. Abi had panicked and called Harry, who had told her to get a car to pick them up and to go to Wigan. Abi had packed a bag for them in panic, and they were picked up and taken directly to the hospital in Wigan, a trip that took over four hours by car. 

They rushed into the reception and were taken straight up to a patient family-room, where mum was sitting, crying with a nurse by her side. She let out a wail when she saw Frankie, and fell into her arms, while she cried: "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone."

Frankie put on her brave face and listened to everything she was told, while her heart broke into a million pieces. Abi was in the room, but she kept very quiet, fetched tea for them, bought sandwiches in the vending machine, and tried to help as well as she could. 

"I got up at 6:30AM, and he was still asleep next to me. I had breakfast and went for a long walk with Marybeth in the Haigh Woodlands. We brought a packed lunch and then we went to have tea afterwards. I wasn't back until 2PM. I thought it was odd he hadn't touched his breakfast in the fridge. I went up to fetch the washing, and there he was..." Mum broke into a sob, and Frankie reached over the table to hold her hand. "He was stiff as a board. I called 999 and the ambulance came so fast. They brought machines and tried to do what they do, but he was gone." She stared into thin air, clearly traumatized by the dreadful experience. 

Tears were streaming down Frankie's face, but she was still trying to be brave for her mum. Abi sat down next to her, and stroked her back, just like Harry would normally do when he sensed her tensing up. Harry. Her heart ached for him. Within the last 48 hours she had nearly lost her love, and then she had lost her dad. Her darling, goofy, funny dad. She felt weak and unwell, but she knew she needed to be brave and hold things together for mum. Mum was strong, but she still needed her help to get things sorted for dad. 

The nurse came back in, and gave mum a new pill for her nerves. They were quite effective it seemed, and Frankie wondered if they would offer her the same ones, if she asked. The nurse patted Frankie's arm and sat down next to her. 

"Would you like to see your dad, luv'?" She asked and smiled warmly at Frankie. 

Frankie swallowed a lump and looked at her mum. She sniffled and nodded at Frankie, as if she gave her permission for Frankie to go see him. Abi drew in her breath shakily, and Frankie didn't need to look at her to know, that she was crying. 

"I think it would be good for you to say goodbye to him," the nurse said as she squeezed Frankie's arm gently. 

Frankie couldn't imagine what good it would do. Her dad wouldn't look proudly at her, and call her 'pet' like he always did. He wouldn't suggest they escaped down to the pub to avoid the wrath of mum. He wouldn't beam at her, talking of the fine lad, she had found. 

Abi gently claimed her attention. "I know it seems morbid and difficult, Franks. But I think you should do it, for closure." 

The nurse nodded, agreeing with Abi and offering Frankie a tissue for her nose and eyes. Frankie felt sick to the stomach and needed to get some air first, she said. She got up to go out, but felt lightheaded and needed to sit down again.