The Nightmare leading to Summer of 1989(Patrick Hockstetter x reader )

Shame

The cold unforgiving wind made you feel numb, numb to it all, your head unable to think straight unsure if it was the shock, the self loathing you were feeling or the drug that was in your system but... The overwhelming dread felt heavy on your chest like a burden as you and Bill walked back to his house, he had given you his jacket to wear. He saw your defeated look knowing you did not want to talk about it, feeling the sorrow he simply held your cold hand attempting to comfort you in any way he could, his warm touch made your heart ache, how could he want to be with you after all of the events that transpired already and it hasn't even been a month.. If he only knew how dirty and used you were, he would hate you and call you a whore like the rest of the kids did to any girl Henry and his gang would brag about. Sure you just got there not too long ago but you knew what a small town that was and how quickly lies spread... Walking in the middle of the night you space out into your thoughts....

I am ruined, I have lost my value as a female... I have been disgraced... How will I be able to find someone that will accept me as I am... What if I am pregnant now? What if ifs Henrys.... what if the second attacker wasn't Henry? I should maybe tell Victor... What if it was him? what if he tells me I wanted it and its my fault? Am a whore? WHAT will my parents say? What... What would Bill say? Would he hate-

Bill cleared his throat, you look up at him as you quickly wipe your tears, silencing your conflicting thoughts. He continues to hold your hand as he walked up the steps of his front porch, "sh-shhh.. W-wwe gotta be qu-quiet we c-can explain it to the ppa-parents in the m-mmorning okay?" , Bills voice was echoing. You look at him, your heart fluttered and was breaking at the same time, you have always had a crush on him and now you felt ruined.. Your body still feeling a high, you nod and have anxiety building up from all the stress tears falling from your eyes you quickly wiped them away. You look down you couldnt look at him, "Thank you Bill, I am sorry I am causing trouble.." All of a sudden he embraces you and holds you his face in the crook of your neck,you could feel his heart beating fast in his chest, "N-No V-Val-Valarie I'm s-s-sorry, I w-wish you c-co-could live h-here with m-me...." , his voice breaking slightly, he knew deep in his heart something bad happened by the smell and the condition of the room and how he found you. " I sh-Sh-shouldnt ha-have let them t-t-take you away."

You inhaled his scent he did not smell of tobacco or alcohol nor weed. His words echoing in your head, you embrace him tightly tears still falling you cry silently, "Bill I...I.. I wish that too... I don't want to stay with Victor anymore... I want to be here with you and your family... and be away as far away from- " . You sob, "Those monsters.." Bill wipes his eyes and continues to hug you. Rubbing your back trying to comfort you, "Let's g-get you rested and w-wwe can maybe try c-ccalling your parents tomorrow? W-Wou-Would you be able to r-re-reach out to them? I'm s-sh-sure they would understand.." , he asks as he lets go of you as he wipes your tears off your face and smiles at you warmly. Bill was always optimistic it was one of the many qualities you loved about him. You nod and smile softly, your mouth starting to get really dry. "Bill may I have some water? I think I need to lay down..." , your head was spinning your whole mouth feeling like you had a bunch of cotton balls in your mouth down to your throat. He smiled and nodded, "S-s-sure Val, b-b-but p-p-please try to be qq-qu-quiet.." He leads walking into his house quietly locking the door behind you guys, you followed behind him as he made his way to his bedroom. Walking into his room you made your way to the bed and sat down your head was spinning  you felt dizzy and tired, you rubbed your eyes.

Bill quickly nods and locks the door to make sure his parents didn't catch him sneaking someone in his room especially a girl, he walked to his desk there he poured a cup of water from his glass pitcher he had on his desk. Due to him feeling something Lurking in the shadows he didn't like walking around his house late at night, he takes the drink to you, "H-he-here you go V-Va-Valarie." You took the glass cup and drank from it, the cool liquid rehydrating your mouth and throat. "Thank you." , You smile at him as you look at the Beatlejuice movie poster on his door, " Are we gonna go see that movie just us two Willy?", You ask out of character the drug making you less shy and more direct, using and old nickname of his." I would like it if we would go watch it just us two....", you say quietly in a soft voice as you look back at him. He scratches the back of his head blushing slightly chuckles, "Y-y-yeah w-w-we cou-could do tthat...", he replies as he takes your empty cup from your hands, setting it down on the end table. He goes to his closet and gets you one of his plain white T-shirts and some of his pajama pants.