Finding Fate (A One Direction Fanfic)

Chapter 8

*Later in the day*
Jase never stopped holding my hand afraid that if he let go he would wake up from his dream. What he didn't know was that this was my dream too. But I still really liked Niall. I didn't know what to do. I knew that Jase would be hurt if I told him that I didn't know if I wanted to be with him. I don't even understand the feelings myself. The unthinkable has happened. The one time I book a flight for my best friend my 5 idols happen to be aboard the flight. Maybe that's why the flight was less time with $100 more. He flew on one directions private jet because they have an extra seat and were willing to share.
"What are you thinking about Hun?" Jase asked cautiously.
"Everything and nothing at the same time"
"I know you well enough to know that your not thinking about nothing. "Nothing" means something to you."
"See that's where you got me. It means everything but I can't decipher my female thoughts. Everything is somehow connected, making everything so confusing."
"Then say it all out loud."
"See, but I can't."
"Why can't you."
"Because I always have had trouble talking to you about you."
"You're just gonna have to get over that, and I think that I could solve one of your problems."
"... And what problem would that be?"
"You have no clue what to think about you and me, but I think that for now we should remain the best friends that we are, because I don't want to hurt you like so many others have before."
I knew he was referring to Seth. I didn't want to think that Seth was once again making my life harder, but how could he, I make my life complicated all on my own. Though Jase was right, it might be better to remain friends for now. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him. At the same time, I wanted to stop playing it safe with Jase and tell him how I've felt since day one, tell him just how much I want to be more than friends... Ugh, this is so much for one day.
"Jess, please say something?"
I could hear the worry in his voice, but I couldn't bring my self to open my mouth and talk to him. Everything was a mess inside my head.
"Jessy, if you're giving me the silent treatment, it's working... You can stop now..."
I couldn't let him think I was mad but all I could say was, "I'm not giving you the silent treatment. I just can't stop thinking."
"Then let me help you think. I know you better then anyone, there's gotta be something for me to do or say that will put your mind at ease."
Just then I pulled over and stopped the car so that I could think.
"I think that you and I are better off as friends for sanities sake. But I want to be more with you. You don't want to hurt me, I don't care, you try to help, but I don't know what to say. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. You're all I have."