Erwin Headcannon no. 3

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Dad jokes

• (I promise Imma eventually get to the more romantic headcannons bUT HEAR ME OUT-)

• Commander Eyebrows is the MASTER of dad jokes.

• Dude may not be a father himself, but let's be honest.

• All his subordinates are his children.

• He's always so serious during meetings and speeches, but behind closed doors?

• A menace. Unrelenting as he finally has a chance to rattle off some of his own father's favorite jokes to his friends.

• 9 times out of 10, he'll remain professional. Maybe one or two corny jokes will slip out, but he'll keep it polite.

• Give him a few drinks, or get him comfortable with his closest friends though?

• One time Levi stated he was thirsty, when referring to his now empty cup of tea.

• Cue an evil grin from Erwin.

• "Hello thirsty, I'm Erwin."

• Levi threatened to retire early from the Survey Corps.

• That time Mike forgot something in Erwin's office after taking his leave?

• "Long time no see, stranger."

• Mike told him he smelled like a bitch while rolling his eyes.

• Seriously, this man can't not be such a dad.

• One time, Nike Dok asked his old friend how things were going for him now that he was commander of the survey corps.

• Not missing a beat, "Living the dream."

• Modern AU Erwin would answer phone calls with " 'yello?' "

• "What's the damage?" He'd ask Hange whenever they would present to him the document that recorded the yearly costs of the Scout Regimen.

• A young Eren once made a comment about the difficulties of life as a teenager in the scouts.

• "Well, when I was your age-"

• Mans slaps his thigh when hearing a funny joke.

• Overall headcannon that Erwin is A Dad.



~Lynn

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