93 DAYS...or longer?

29.

"You must be Amos's maid." I hear Kayla's voice and realize she is still in front of my door. She probably saw Lily around the house and I won't let her disturb her, plus now I will carry her out of the house, make sure she is gone and not hiding in my basement. 

I open the door wide and as soon as I see Mackenna standing across from Kayla, I pray to God to open the ground now and swallow me whole.

"Mack.." I let out a heavy breath as my heart beats out of my chest. I started to feel cold sweat on my forehead and back as my lips get dry in a second. Stop it Kasper, you are acting as if something happened. 

"What are you.. what are you doing here?" I manage to word out, hearing how bad it sounds just as it leaves my mouth. No 'oh I am glad you are here, I missed you', no 'hello the love of my life, let me explain what happened', but 'what are you doing here'.

"I.. uhm..brought you breakfast.." She loosely lifts up a bag, trying to show to me what she was carrying but her hand drops right back as it was, her body emotionless and cold. 

"Oh make me a breakfast too!" Kayla says excitedly, making us both glare at her. Mackenna's look was filled with disgust and betrayal as well as degradation while mine was full of anger and hate.

"That's it."  I mumble under my breath before I grab the back of Kayla's head, gripping onto her hair and pushing her down the stairs as I run down the stairs with her, making her miss a few steps which only pulled her hair harder. She was screaming and tried to get out of my grip but I didn't even bother to blink at her way. Adrenaline hit me hard and all I wanted to do was to get her out of here.

As we reach the front door, I notice everyone starring at us, but I as well didn't care "Get the fuck out of here and leave my wife and me alone!" I yell at her before slamming big, wooden door, leaving her naked on the street, with coat in her hand. 

I run back upstairs, noticing that Mackenna was standing still in her place as if she was glued or frozen.

"Mack.." I whisper as I'm out of breath. Not because of running. But because of all the emotions and adrenaline built up inside of me.

I grab her hand gently in mine and lead her into my room, closing the door behind us. 

"Sit please.. let me talk" I beg her, looking at her broken eyes full of tears. She just simply sits down, listening to my command, guessing she was in shock.

"That's Kayla, she somehow came here and found my room.. I didn't invite her nor let her in. I opened the door to see who it was, hoping that it would be you but when I saw it was her, I went to close the door but she was quicker and walked in. She wanted to apologize so I listened but she took her coat off and started touching me - well my chest and shirt. I grabbed her hands and pushed her away then you came. But nothing happened, I swear" I talk quickly yet somehow it seemed like forever. 

"Red lipstick on your neck, scratches on your chest and ruined button shirt happened before or after that 'nothing', hm?" She asks simply, lifting her eyebrows as tears in her eyes hold onto her eyelashes not falling down her cheeks just yet.

"Nothing happened.." I whisper, realizing how it looks like to her.

Tears find their way out of her eyelashes and down her cheeks, creating a small river of sadness down to her neck and lips. 

I close my eyes for a moment, realizing what I've done. Well I didn't do anything, but past me did. Past fucked up my future.

As she stands up with intention to leave, I take a step forward and stop her from making another move. 

I place my hand on her cheek, lifting her head up to look at me, my thumb landing on her wet skin of her cheek while my eyes try to find hers, but she closes them instead, not wanting to look at me, making more tears roll down her cheeks in a familiar path. 

"Mackenna please.." I whisper, debating on whether or not I should kiss her. As much as I was dying to do so, I know she wouldn't want it.

"You smell like her." were the words that came out of her mouth. I close my eyes shut for a moment as my head drops down followed with a sigh as I clench my jaw. 

"She did touch me, my chest. But I stopped her. She then placed one kiss on my neck and that's when I threw her out. I know - I know, I should've done it in the first place without giving her the chance to do any of that. I should've known better." She finally opens her eyes to look at me and I get lost in them right away as my heart begins to race, loosing all the words I had in my mind.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry you have to go through this because of me.. It's a fault I made in the past and I guess this is how it meant to be. The truth had to come to surface at one point. I've never told you about that part of me since I was ashamed of it. I wasn't thinking. I didn't think it is such a big deal or important back then but once I met you, I wished to have a power to erase it all. To make it go away and not be a part of me. But I can promise you that before you, not one of them has stepped her foot here so you don't have to feel disgusted and think of my room as a brothel. Not one of them has met my parents, they were just meaningless and out of boredom." 

"What if you get bored of me?"

"As if I ever could.." I whisper through a small smile that formed on my lips after hearing her soft, quiet voice ".. you are all I've ever dreamed about Mackenna.. I know I can't fix my past, but I can fix this moment right here and I can control my future. Well.. with you. Future with you. That night, on Emilio's birthday, once you disappeared and walked away from me, I got a message from Kayla but I didn't even read it. Instead, I deleted all of the numbers in my phone I've had. Because I knew that my future with you cannot be affected by my past. I knew that what I can have with you cannot go to waste. I cannot let you go. I promise to never let anything else hurt you or come between us. I promise to take care of you and make you feel safe. I won't break your heart, ever." At this point I am cupping her cheeks while talking to her, maintaining the eye contact as if my soul was speaking to hers. Those weren't just words. Those were my feelings in form of words, with deep meaning and she knew that. 

"Kiss me."