July 24th

Chap. 2

Exactly a month had passed since S-Love's departure, and, on a day of August, they announced something that filled my insides with glee. They were going on a tour, and they were coming to FRANCE. TO FRANCE. I couldn't believe it. I – obviously- used up all my money to get a concert ticket with two of my friends, Lou and Olive. They were Slovers long before me, so it only felt right to go with them. I kind of needed them with me as well. Lou knew how to deal with me when I had an anxiety attack, so I wanted her by my side, plus, like I said, she was a huge Slover.

S-Love and I stayed in touch even after their departure. They would call me and text me every time they could so it felt like I was still with them in a way. I was always sending them insta reels and posts made from Slovers because they were so fun to watch. They even called me and sent me gifts for my 19th birthday. How cute is that please?!

Six months after the announcement of their tour, it was finally time for the concert. We had spent all our money to get seats that were close enough so that I wouldn't see how many people there were, as it could trigger my social anxiety. We also needed seats that were close to a corridor, so that I wouldn't feel like I couldn't escape. I felt like a burden to my friends because I couldn't do everything that they could. They had to do all sorts of things for my sake, so, naturally, I was already feeling unwell when we arrived at the concert. We got to our seats without too much difficulty. There were already a lot of people when we arrived, but I focused on the ground while Lou and Olive were leading the way. I had brought with me a plushie that Ha-Joon had given me for my birthday, saying petting it would help me with my anxiety. The lights went out, and only one light remained, focused on the stage. The boys came out and the crowd cheered and yelled their names. People started to get closer and closer to the stage, which alarmed the staff and S-Love members. I was being swung around between people and soon I had lost my friends. I heard Chae trying to tell people to move back to not hurt anyone, but no one listened. It wasn't the first time that something like that happened, but for some reason, this time people wouldn't listen. I could hear his voice shaking. The other members tried to calm down Slovers as well but to no avail. Their voices broke my heart, for I could feel their anxiety through them. No one was listening. My mind went blank, and the crowd's yelling started to mix with S-Love's voices. My vision got blurry, and my chest bones felt like they were crushing my heart. I made my way to the front of the crowd. I found John -their bodyguard that I had met last time- who was trying to calm down the fans.

"Hi John! Do you think maybe I could go on stage and try to talk to Slovers? Maybe they'll listen to me since I'm a Slover as well?"

He was so desperate that he let me on the stage. I grabbed Ha-Joon's mic and said in French:

"Hi! You don't know me. But that's not important right now. Please let's stop what we're doing. Don't you see how we make S-Love feel right now? Is this really the image we want to show S-Love? That French Slovers don't know how to behave? I don't know about you, but I can't stand seeing them worry about us like that..." I could feel my voice breaking. I don't know if it was my social anxiety or the fact that I hadn't seen them in a while, but I was feeling very emotional. I guess Slovers felt that because they slowly started calming down. They all took a step back, then another, then another, and soon they had reached a safe distance from the stage. I bowed apologetically to Ha-Joon while I gave him his mic back.

Thankfully, the rest of the concert went by without a hitch. My social anxiety didn't show itself after the incident since I was so busy enjoying the concert. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I don't even have the words to describe it. It was as if we were in a whole different world. A world where your worries and problems would go away. A world where the only thing that would matter would be music. Their music. You would look around and see everyone enjoying themselves as much as you would.