Road of the Heavenly Light

11-3: Finding My Own Way

The next morning was a Saturday, but Isabella still felt like she had been traveling through the mountains of Mistlyn on foot for three days in a row, having barely slept for the second night in a row. She tried her best to conceal the dark circles under her eyes before the group gathered again, but if one of the girls wanted to comment on it, they'd have another thing coming.
"Now, your job will not just entail what the book explained, as you'll also be required to serve as my eyes and ears at court whenever you're not with me. You'll need to gather any important information and gossip you can find, from assassination attempts, to affairs, pregnancies, impending divorces, etcetera. I want to know it all," Audrey explained.
"Are you sure that's wise?" Isabella asked, completely forgetting the presence of the other girls.
"Don't presume to instruct the princess!" Eileen scolded her. Isabella immediately disliked her, as she began to have a feeling Audrey had chosen girls who had just as much of an appetite for gossip as she did.
"It's alright, Eileen, Isabella is my best friend, and I know she has my best interests at heart."
Eileen shot her another glare but backed down.

"You know, I did recently see the Dowager Duchess of Barbato enter the chambers of the Countess of Rosso quite a few times," Sybil began.
"Isn't the countess married?" Rose asked.
"Yes, but her husband is an awful prig, and keeps delaying the divorce proceedings," Audrey explained.
"The poor duchess has been so lonely since the death of her wide, I'm happy for her if she's found new love with the countess, even if she won't be a countess anymore when the divorce is done," Susan added, a sentiment Isabella agreed with.
"By the way, I've heard whispers that the Grand Duke of Farnese is planning to court me once he returns from his history studies in Fayiron," Harriet said.
"Cousin Bertie?! Congratulations, Harriet! I'm sure you'll get along," Audrey responded.
Finally, a name Isabella recognized. Herbert, known by the family as Bertie, was Audrey's cousin, the son of her father's late sister, Princess Alexandra.
"What is a grand duke?" Kate asked. Isabella had wondered the same, but didn't have the courage to ask.
"It's a title that's usually given to younger children of a monarch when they come of age. Bertie's title was given to his mother by my grandmother, and he inherited it."
From there, the conversation steered back towards court gossip, and Isabella zoned out completely, not recognizing any names and not wanting to hear any scandalous slander.

After their meeting concluded, the other girls had gone sightseeing in Earth for the afternoon, leaving Isabella and Audrey behind. Audrey had suggested a walk in the school gardens together, and Isabella had accepted. Isabella felt the dislike towards the position of lady-in-waiting grow with every passing second. She did not want to participate in gossip, she did not want to have to deal with those snobbish friends of Audrey's, and she certainly did not want to be constantly reminded that she was pretending to be something she was not.
"I'm so looking forward to being an adult. We can go to balls together and wear matching dresses, and-"
"I can't do it," Isabella interrupted Audrey, "I'm sorry, Audrey, but I can't."
"Is this about Eileen?" she asked, "because she might be cold at first, but she'll warm up to you soon, I promise!"
"No, it's not that," Isabella replied, irritation seeping into her voice, "I can't be your lady-in-waiting because that's not the kind of person I am. It would be unbearable, not just because I'm a commoner, but also because I would never be happy in that position."
"Isn't being close to me enough?"
"No. I want to be close to you, of course, but I want to do something that's rewarding and that I'm interested in, not spend the rest of my life walking in your shadow being the scandal of the court, judged by everyone."

Audrey seemed in shock for a moment before frowning at Isabella.
"Then why did you accept the position in the first place?" she asked.
"I don't know... I guess I felt like I couldn't refuse such a big honor from a princess."
"How could you say that?!" Audrey suddenly exclaimed. Isabella's eyes widened. She hadn't expected this.
"Are you angry?"
"Yes, I am. I'm angry, because after all these years of us being best friends, you still let our difference in rank get in the way of telling me how you feel!" And with those words shouted out, Audrey turned around and ran off. Isabella took a moment to truly process what she just heard, before running after her to try to mend things. Instead of finding Audrey, however, she nearly bumped into Elizabeth.
"Oh, dear, you look quite upset. What happened?" she asked. Before she knew it, Isabella told her everything.

"I see... that's quite the predicament you've found yourself in. You clearly should have voiced your opinion on the matter sooner, but it's also obvious Audrey was pressuring you to choose in her favor rather than to do what was best for both of you."
"I haven't seen her this upset since her governess left when she was twelve. She spoiled her so much, she threw a tantrum whenever she didn't get what she wanted," Isabella remarked with a dry chuckle.
"Well, I don't think this is a tantrum. Audrey is clearly upset because she cares very deeply about you, and fears losing you after she settles into her royal duties if you're not in her household. I would suggest waiting for her to calm down before you try talking to her again."
"Thank you, Elizabeth. I really needed to near that."
Like many others, she hadn't been sure when Elizabeth wanted to become student council president, weary of her father's actions against them, but now she perfectly understood why she had won the position. She really cared about making things right, and she knew just how to help everyone. Thanks to her, she knew how to confront Audrey.

When Isabella returned to her dorm, she noticed Audrey's room had been locked, so she sat down in the living room to wait. There, the book they'd read with the other ladies once again caught her eye. She found herself once again returned to the chapter on Audrey's personal guard, the only one that had caught her attention before. Then, she suddenly had an amazing idea. Isabella jumped up and began knocking on Audrey's door.
"Audrey, please open up, we have to talk!"
She heard some shuffling inside, before the lock turned and Audrey opened up.
"Oh, Isabella, I'm so sorry! I've been so selfish..." she immediately said.
"I'm sorry too. I should have told you sooner how I felt, but I just had an idea on how to solve this!" Isabella pulled Audrey out of her room, and towards the book.
"Look, the book says you'll also be entitled to a personal guard when you become an adult. I could be its commander. I've always wanted to go into the military, and this is the perfect option, as we'll still see each other every day!"
"That's a great idea! I'll write to daddy immediately to suggest it, I'm sure he won't refuse," she replied, "oh, Isabella, this is amazing!"
"So... does that mean we're friends again?"
"Of course we are!"