I'm going live on weverse for the very first time as Enhypen member. I was officially announced as 8th member of enhypen 2 days ago. Since then, I haven't really got to check my socials, not because i've been busy but due to fear of being judged and hated by others. Heeseung asked me if i was comfortable going on a weverse live..i have to. And I'm really excited to meet our pre debut fans.
I set up the phone, and started the live. I was very casual & comfy clothes since I was in our dorm.
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"Annyeonghaseyo 안녕하세요 engenes." honestly, our fandom name is just so cute.
Soon, so many people started joining the live.
Honestly, I was nervous. It's my first live. Enhypen has already been live on weverse once, so it was just me this time. My hands started shaking due to anxiety.
I began reading the comments. Engenes mostly asked about how I auditioned, and how was i feeling. It was such a great conversation with everyone.
"Stop being so arrogant. You're barely trying to read comments from engenes. Seems like you're ignoring us."
"Is she the 8th member of enhypen? I had high expectations.."
"Does she even have any talent?"
"She doesn't match the overall theme of the group."
"Stop. I don't want her near the boys."
"She's ugly."
I read the comments with a blank expression. It hurts me really bad. Tears started forming in my eyes but i decided to control. The fans started bashing me.
"I'm very pleased to meet you guys. I hope we can get along very well." i said while trying not to cry.
Still, i could see hate comments. As much as I wanted to ignore them, I just couldn't.
"I don't know why BigHit scouted someone like you. Bet, you're here just for seeking attention."
This was it. I tried being strong but it's just not enough.
"Engene...I see you guys don't really like me right...? Nonetheless, I want to express my deep affection for each and every one of you. Becoming a member of a boy group was an unexpected turn in my life. Truth be told, I never envisioned myself as a K-pop idol. Still, I am putting forth my utmost effort because my heart is set on this path. Apart from my passion for the arts, I've never experienced the same level of comfort and joy as I do in this journey. Many people have remarked on my vocal abilities and encouraged me to pursue this path, though I initially had doubts. However, upon arriving here and witnessing the dedication of other K-pop groups during their choreography rehearsals, I found myself drawn to the excitement. I also desired to be part of a girl group, but perhaps fate had other plans. I genuinely apologize if my presence has caused any discomfort or distress. I am determined to give my all and ensure I do not let any of you down."
