Stray Kids Comfort Collection

1. Chris: Behind Closed Doors

It was dark and cold, and I was thankful. All I had been doing from my loose fetal position on my hotel bed was stare at the light peeking in at the seam where the curtains just didn't quite meet and cry in waves. I couldn't get out of the bed this morning. I told the staffer sharing this room with me that I needed a sick day, and she called it in for me. I've been lucky with the staff I'm working with on this tour.

There was a knock at my door, but I didn't have the energy to get up and answer it. So I didn't. They would go away. There should have been a 'do not disturb' sign on the door.

The knock reverberated against the door again, but a voice followed it. "Noona, open up please."

Why is he here?? All I wanted today was to be left alone, to grieve in privacy. On this tour, there was someone up my ass or someone whose ass I was up nearly 24/7.

"Noona, please? Don't make me go get a key for your room just to make sure you're okay." He spoke with kindness and concern through the door.

"Go away, Chris." I barely said above a whisper. I know for sure he didn't hear me, but I didn't have the strength to shout it at the door like I wanted to.

"Noona..." His distant voice drifted then disappeared for a few minutes. Then, all of a sudden, there was a sliding sound, a beeping, and a clicking sound before the door opened and Chris walked in. He tossed the spare keycard on the desk. "Noona?"

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and saw him standing at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed. "What?" My flat tone drifted up to him.

"I know what today is for you, and you don't have to go through it alone."

Tears sprung to my eyes instantly. "Damn it, Chris. What are you doing here?"

"Being here for you because you're hurting."

That was it. The dam against my emotions broke again. I curled in harder on myself and sobbed. I didn't even realize he had kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed until I felt his weight and his warmth blanket my back and wrap over my side.

"You're safe with me. You can cry as much as you need to. I'm not going anywhere." He spoke soothingly from right behind me.

"But... but... the ra-d-dio show... and first sound check?" I stuttered through the hiccups that accompanied my crying so hard.

"That's already over. You've been in the room for hours by yourself. I was getting worried. Then one of the staff mentioned the date and that you weren't feeling good. And it clicked."

"Oh," was all I could say before the tears started flowing freely again.

He reached over me and tugged until I had turned over and was facing him. "Come here," he said and pulled me closer to him, enveloping me in his arms. He pressed a kiss to my temple and hugged me. And I cried even harder against him. He didn't move except to pet my hair or rub calming circles on my back. I had to have been destroying his shirt.

"I'm sorry. Your shirt..." I gained my composure enough to try to wipe my face with my sweatshirt sleeve rather than his shirt.

"You're just trying to get me out of it, aren't you? Naughty Noona."

I didn't think I was capable of laughing at that moment, and it surprised me when I did. But then I shook my head and let out a deep sigh, "Rules are rules, dongsaeng."

He groaned and squeezed me tighter. "It's bullshit. Plus, you've seen me a hundred times without a shirt on."

"That's not the same."