Forever and always.

17

Levi

When I woke up I noticed three major things.

One, my head hurt. Really bad. I'm assuming it's from the drinks.

Two, this place I'm in— I have absolutely no clue where this is. Who's house is this?? But I'm not to worried. I know I'm not kidnapped or anything. Reason being— the third thing I noticed was Caleb. He was hugging one of my arms, meaning I couldn't sit up. He was still asleep.

Oh— god. I remember some stuff now. The last thing I remember is Caleb calling out to me... then something... then.. me on his back walking to the park... but after that I must have blacked out.

I'm laying flat on my back with the guy who said he hated my guts clinging onto me like a ladder. Help.

His face is slightly tilted up, but most of it is in my shoulder. His eyes are red, and his face is all scrunched. It looks like he's been crying.

Why was he crying? Did I say something to him when I was drunk? No— because if I did he wouldn't be hugging me. I'm barely holding him down, and he's stronger. He could've easily gotten up last night.

So why was he crying?

"...ughh..." he groaned. He was took his arm off me to rub his eyes. He looked really tired.

He sat up, still rubbing his eyes. He ran a hand through his scruffy, blonde hair, trying to straighten it up. He looked over to me.

"... Levi..?" He said, as if he hasn't seen me in a million years. I nod quickly.

He looked down, his shoulders slumped. He rubbed his temple.

"...oh..." he mumbled. He then looked back towards me. "Sorry..." he mumbled. When he sat up, the side of his arm was still touching my shoulder. When he apologized, he took it away. He folded the blanket off of himself, and hopped out of bed. He stumbled, but caught himself on the dresser by the bed.

He looked towards me again before sitting on the couch.

Why can't I remember anything? How drunk did I get? I need to ask him. I seriously didn't want to do anything that hurt him, so if I did..? I don't think I could look him in the eye.

I gave him a concerned look.

"You where crying earlier..." I said. My voice was still rough, since one; I have a hangover, two; this is the first time I've talked today.

"Did I do something? Because if I did.." ... his eyes started watering again.

I stood quickly and walked over to him. When I stood I thought I would fall, but I managed to stay up long enough to reach the couch he was sitting on. I sat next to him.

"Caleb— did I do something last night? Please tell me. I don't wanna—"

... he looked at me. He didn't even say anything but I stopped talking.

"Just— stop talking..! Stop being so.. freaking.. nice—!" He said, gripping his hair with one of his hands. He leaned his forehead on that hand. 

I tilted my head. What does he mean 'stop being nice'?

"Even drunk you said the same thing." He said in a trembling voice. I wanted to do something. Hug him— pat him on the shoulder— something.

"Levi." He said, his tone changing. "Why the hell don't you hate me..?" He asked.

What does he mean?

"Why would I hate you?" I asked. I was trying to sound sincere.

He looked like he would blow up on me. I don't know if he's gonna shout or yell or kick— but I feel like he's going to do something. Cuss me out maybe.

He tried to say something, but his voice just came out as a trembling mess.

I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to be supportive.

"I'll give you a few reasons." I said calmly.

He looked up at me.

"I've seen you be so selfless. Even in your home situation... you could definitely be meaner. So far, the only person I've seen you dislike is me. I might've done something to hurt you, but even if I didn't, some people just annoy others. It's fine if you don't like me, but that doesn't mean I'll hate you."

... oh damn. I might've messed up.

He looked towards me, his face scrunched again. His brows where furrowed.

He took a deep breath in. "Levi." He says. He keeps saying my name. "I'm... sorry... for being so dumb." He looked down and fiddled with his fingers.

He's apologizing?

"... I don't hate you. At all. Not anymore at least..." he mumbled.

So he doesn't hate me?

"What changed?" I asked, trying to be patient. I was more confused than anything.

"... nothing. You changed nothing. I just came to my senses.." he said, seeming to be struggling, and laughing lightly.

"Came to your senses?" I feel as if I keep asking questions, I'm going to be punched in the face.

"Your not a bad person. At all. Your just... gifted. And if anyone deserves to be gifted..." he paused. "It's you."

I didn't know what he meant by that. Gifted how? Gifted was a term often used to describe someone smarter— or anything above average just by default. How am I gifted? I don't want to sound like the conversation is about me, so I don't ask.

I slowly reach my arm up, and patted his shoulder lightly. He looked over to me, still crying. He wiped his tears with his sleeves, and laughed. It was more like a pitiful laugh. Pity for himself.

"Im so dumb." He said, smiling. Yet he was still crying.

I open my arm slightly. He hesitated, but fell into me, trembling.

He must have been through a lot. I only got a glimpse of his mom— she sounded really scary. He had two younger siblings as well, their probably traumatized. I feel bad for the three of them.

... I wonder... if I could find a way to get them out.

But for now, all I can do is hug Caleb.

Caleb grabs the front of my shirt, gripping it tightly. Like he's a cat, trying to claw my skin. But he's not actually on my skin— so more like a cat trying to tear the curtains.

I hesitate, but place my hand on his head. His hairs really soft... it felt like cotton candy but less sticky. Or a cat. I keep comparing him to a cat— it suits him though.

Both of his hands are close to his chest, like he's trying to hide something in them. He's not hugging me, but leaning. I don't really mind— I hug him anyway.

He's trembling. His face is tucked in my shirt.

I really want to find out what he's going through. I want to be there for him.

I feel as if he's getting close to letting me.