The First Journal

DECEIT.

9 Shemu 1438 BCE, Thebes

In the shadowed tapestry of my existence, I have forged an unexpected alliance. Her name was Tiy, a woman of the night, a shesep*. Over a decade of moonlit rendezvous, I have honed my ability to restrain the insatiable thirst within me, to taste her life essence without sipping from the fountain of Ka* as it had so often danced upon my tongue. My name, like a gentle river, flows from her lips; a moan, as she willingly offers a drop from her wrist each night - a crimson promise. For her silence, I adorn her with jewels plucked from my ill-fated victims. I am her protector, her shield when shadows grow ominous.

Tiy has become my confidante, and in the stillness of the night, she regales me with tales of her past, her lovers, and the intricate web of gossip that weaves through our kingdom. Her connections run deep, granting me insights into the heartbeat of our realm. In turn, I unveil fragments of my timeless existence, for it has been an eternity since I last allowed myself the vulnerability of contact and I yearn for the warmth she offers, a semblance of humanity in my cursed existence.

As I caress her dark curls, I am drawn into the depths of her brown eyes, she reminds me of the sunsets that once graced my mortal skin. As my hips sway in the velvet night, I rediscover a connection to the mortal realm. Through the pleasure of her flesh, a spark of life courses through my desecrated veins. I capture her wrist, puncturing her skin to draw forth her vitae. I glide my tongue along her arm, like a serpent over ancient sands, tracing the crimson rivulets, her moans the haunting melody that drives the sway of my hips - my lust. In Tiy's embrace, her body becomes my instrument and her moans the melody I compose.

*Note: "Shesep" refers to a woman engaged in prostitution, and "Ka" is an Egyptian concept related to the vital essence or life force.

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I find no escape from the relentless tide of despair - like dried blood, it clings to me - a reminder I had taken Pharaoh Hatshepsut's life. Over the past decade a dark riptide has consumed all I knew; The Kingdom I swore to protect from my secret has fallen into a shadow deeper than I could have fathomed. A chain reaction unraveled and through Tiy's lips, I find my actions have had catastrophic consequences. As I wrestle with the heavy burden of guilt for my actions, Lord Sethar has insinuated himself into the very heart of the palace, like a serpent cloaked in gold; but jewels and riches cannot conceal from me the venomous intent that courses through his veins. When he self proclaimed himself Pharaoh, the rightful to the throne, no one batted an eye, desperate to grasp any semblance of order in these troubled times. Yet, his rule reeks of tyranny, his lust for power eclipsing any concern for the Kingdom's welfare. The responsibility for his reign weighs heavily upon me, a bitter truth I cannot escape.

To my horror, I returned to the catacombs to find it disheveled. Bodies unearthed, my possessions upturned and tossed over the melted wax of my candles. The only thing missing was the book of the dead. The very book I had spent a decade deciphering; the very book containing the answers I sought and, perhaps, the key to undoing my own cursed existence had been stolen, and none other than Lord Sethar possessed it. I wondered how he acquired it right under my very nose? How did he know where to find it within my Sanctuary? When I returned to Tiy the following night for my crimson sustenance, she was conspicuously absent. In my inquiry, I learn that she has been lavished with unimaginable luxuries and now dwelled within Pharaoh Sethar's palace. It became painfully clear that the secrets I had bared to her on those intimate nights have been spilled, their sacred trust falling upon devilish ears.

Bitter anger simmers within my undead veins as I piece together the truth. Tiy, once an ally; a lover, had traded my trust for riches. How could I have been so foolish? To trust a shesep - a whore who's loyalty had never lied between my hips but in lust for gold. I should have known better but loneliness was a wretched temptress.
The book of the dead, now in Sethar's grasp, harbors the potential to exert control over me and unveil my true nature to the people of Egypt. Worst of all, it holds the power to unleash forces that neither Sethar nor I comprehend. The book's theft leaves me devoid of the anchor to my research and the pursuit of a cure, draining all hope - extinguishing the flame I had harbored for so long. Reclaiming it becomes imperative, for without the book, my existence will remain forever shrouded in shadow, and my quest for redemption shall falter to darkness. All the deaths that stained my soul would go in vain.

With unwavering determination or perhaps a thirst for vengeance, I ventured once more into the heart of the Palace, my own ego shattered by Tiy's deceit. The familiar stone walls and grand halls where I had spent my youth in service surrounded me. My path led to the throne room, where I had hoped to confront Sethar, but it was Tiy I encountered, her dark skin glistening in gold paint and her bare body adorned in chains that left little to the imagination. With her beauty illuminated by the fire's flickering light, the memories of her blood's delicate nectar on my tongue, the echoes of her moans, the weight of my heart's confessions flooded back.

She tells me I am nothing but a monster; an abomination. She tells me of Sethar's lies, a web so thick it had clouded her very sight of me. It felt as though she had thrust a dagger into my heart, a bitter irony reminiscent of the act I had once committed on my own confidant Hatshepsut. Was this a cruel twist of fate, the painful cost of trust? I attempted to reason with her, but Sethar's servants drew near—I could smell them, hear their thunderous footsteps approaching as Tiy cried out for help.

I silenced her.

In that desperate moment, I drained her essence, for the last time drinking the blood she had once shared so willingly as crimson tears marked my cheeks. Once again, I had taken the life of someone I had cherished. I cradled her lifeless body, unable to release the promises we had once shared. I tenderly brushed her dark curls and hummed a mournful lullaby over her corpse, her open mouth and fearful brown eyes staring back at me. I closed her eyes, unable to bear my own reflection through them - they had once reminded me of the sun's warm embrace, a connection to my mortal life - now they only emphasized the monster I had become.

Unable to flee, I remained on my knees by the raging fire, Tiy's lifeless form pressed against my chest when the palace guards stormed in, spears aimed at me. The memories become a haze as I pen these words, but I recall the guard's lifeless bodies surrounding me, their blood staining my very flesh in a crimson tapestry. My breath, hot and furious, escaped my lips, and a guttural scream of torment filled the room as new scars etched themselves into my back. When there was no more room to carve, the searing pain extended to my thighs, etching fresh passages into my flesh.

I found the sacred Book of the Dead and reclaimed what was rightfully mine. Fleeing to the catacombs beneath Thebes, I sought their solace and darkness. I carried the lifeless form of Tiy, clinging to a veil of denial, believing that a kiss might bring her back to my side. I could not bear to lose the only mortal I had loved in so long, not like this. But this time, I vowed to be in control, to never again fall victim to deceit.