My Willful Flame

Chapter Eighteen

We stayed put for almost two days. The weather turned and a raging storm had made it difficult to move. Ice felt like daggers in the rough wind and the cold paralysed our feat. Lau and I stayed huddled together trying to keep warm, and so did the rest. We ate the freshly fallen snow, and as soon as the weather cleared we were up. But the night had claimed a few, and the day might claim even more. So we stayed where we were until we could move forward.

"We are just waiting for the weak to die," Lau complained, walking in front of me.

"They won't leave each other, and you won't leave them," I responded low.

We were hunting. I felt stronger, and to my surprise, the wound was healing nicely.

"And you? Will you leave me?" He asked light but I sensed he was afraid of my answer.

"Quiet Lau or the cold won't be what kills us. It would be your loud mouth scaring away dinner." I said quickly and pushed past him with light steps, my dagger in hand.

He observed my every move, he had been ever since he first laid his eyes on me. Had he already felt my change? Seen past the girl I was trying to be for the sake of him?

Would he look at me the same knowing she was dead?

"How did you get that knife?"

"It's a dagger and I stole it," I said admiring the silver in my hands. Lau couldn't handle the truth.

"But how?"

I looked back at him, at his scrunched brows.

"What do you mean how? Do you not think I'm capable of stealing?" I said teasingly.

"I don't know, I've never seen you steal. But that is a Mile man's weapon and you and I both know how difficult it would be to wrangle that from their hands. So how did you do it?"

I shrugged, pretending as if the story would be a boring one. But his curiosity didn't fade.

"Some fool got drunk in a bar, spouting nonsense he started a fight. The dagger was dropped, I picked it up and ran." I lied.

"Did you now? And did you learn how to fight and kill in that bar too?"

He saw right through me, not a single word from my lips was believable to him and I couldn't blame him. I was a terrible liar.

"Things happened Lau. I don't feel like talking about them." I said short and turned from him wanting to focus on our hunt. My stomach was growling and I felt my irritation growing.

"Elora," he took my arm, pulling me back. "I'm scared too. I want to know what happened to you. I thought I lost you and suddenly you were there in front of me, shooting a man without hesitation. I just want to know if you're-," he paused, the words inching to come out.

"To know if I'm what? Still sane? I don't want to pain you but I am not the girl you used to know. I do not have hope for my future and I do not share your excitement about the world anymore. You married Claudine and I moved on." I said as softly as possible. There was no other way than to give him mere crumbs of the truth. "I asked you to move on."

He exhaled and shook his head in frustration and anger. "Move on? How could I possibly move on from you? You were everything to me. Everything. And then you died. You died Elora and I was left here with my regret."

"Regret? What do you regret?"

"Come one."

"No what?" I said frustrated. If he was playing a game I wouldn't allow it.

He shook his head, "You torture me and enjoy it. Must I say it?"

"No, don't." I moved on. I did. I had.