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DEAR, I FEAR WE'RE FACING A PROBLEM YOU LOVE ME NO LONGER, I KNOW
✺
IN THE EYES of the other Hogwarts students, today would seem like a fairly normal day. A gloomy autumn sky with golden leaves falling onto the overgrowing grass of the campus. First years skipping hand in hand with their friends, boys jesting, girls giggling. Fifth year girls crying over the History of Magic exam (that man was truly sadistic) and third year boys running from the stern fury of Professor Mcgonagall. Remus's buddy, Sirius, even stretched out a hand to wave at the woman and jest at the boys "You won't get far, chums!" To everyone around him, this was a quaint and normal morning, normal for everyone except Remus John Lupin.
His eyes didn't drift over the boys and girls on the courtyard, his eyes didn't gaze at Sirius or squint at nervous, fidgeting Peter. His eyes were trained on the intertwined fingers of Ardella and James, her laying her chin on his shoulder and him chuckling at the random sights he'd point out to her, to which she'd join in on his laughter (a laugh he now hated). His heart pumped in his chest at their closeness, and he could feel (maybe even hear) the blood rushing through his veins.
Sirius was in his ear, rambling about something he hadn't been paying any mind to until the boy laid a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance "You alright there, Moony?" The brunette boy almost stumbled as everyone's eyes turned to him. James with a furrowed brow, Peter with meek concern, Sirius with an unreadable expression and Ardella with a blank stare. His palms felt like a mix of the sahara desert and a moist cavern, so he wiped them on his trousers, quickly cleared his throat and muttered a simple response "I'm fine. Just thinking"
"I can't be that boring to you, can I? You looked ready to pop a vein" And luckily he didn't, the brunette moved a bit from under Sirius's arm, not too keen on being touched at this very moment. Like he could read his mind, Sirius's cheerful mood dampened, and god did that make Remus feel an aching guilt. He hated the miserable aura he knew he exuded, the one his dog–like friend and Peter could basically smell with how well they knew him. But worse? The one James could probably smell too. Judging by the look on his face, heavy eyes with a fake smile, he knew what clouded Remus's thoughts, how could he not?
"Not you. I'm not exactly prepared for Slughorn's exam" The long haired brunette let out a dramatic gasp, clapping his hands over his open mouth. His voice shifted to one you'd hear from a strict mother mid lecture "Remus John Lupin! You? Not prepared?" He tsked and shook his finger at him, which made the half–blood let out a slight chuckle.
If only the happy atmosphere could last. A sonorous yet relaxing voice drifted over the group, a voice so distracting that Remus almost missed how strung out he'd become at the sound of it "Never expected that from you, Remmy" God, he hated that name. Brought memories unneeded and unwanted. Caused him heartache. Made his teeth grind, something he'd regret once he had to shift again. But he wasn't thinking about that or the future, he was in this moment. The boys head raised to meet her gaze, she was turned him, a frankly poor attempt of a knowing smile perked at the corner of her lips. What did she know?
