Lub-Dub

Long long ago, people didn't have all of the fancy equipment that hospitals do today, so whenever anyone had heart problems, the people of Ancient times would go and make offerings to the great god, Ba-Thump. Ba-Thump had heart problems of his own, so he was a great expert on the subject.
One day, Timus the weaver was working at his loom. He paused for a moment and sighed. His house was so quiet. He lived on the very edge of town in the most peaceful neighborhood, and he generally loved it. But today he longed for some company. He wished for even a small dog, that would wag its tail against the walls to make little thumping noises. Suddenly, he heard something.
Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub.
"Why," said Timus aloud, "that sounds just like a little dog wagging its tail against my wall! I should search my house and find him so that at last I can have some company!" And with that, TImus stood up and went to search for the little dog. He could still hear the Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub of the dog's tail, but there was no dog to be found!
"Where oh where could my little friend be?" Moaned Timus, sitting dejectedly back down at his loom. Then, he noticed something. The Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub.  Lub-Dub,  sounds, were coming not from his house, but from inside of him!
"But, how can this be??" Wondered Timus. "I don't recall eating a little dog." The noise continued to thump rhythmically, and Timus was getting very worried. "Somehow..." he said, "I have trapped a little dog inside of my chest!" He pondered what he should do, and came to this conclusion: "I must go to the temple of Ba-Thump. Surely he will be able to help the little dog!"
And that is just what Timus did. He ran as fast as he could to the temple of Ba-Thump, and arrived just in the nick of time too, for by the time he stopped running, he could feel and hear the little dog's tail wagging even faster than it had before! Timus carefully, but quickly lit the altar and called out "Oh great god Ba-Thump! I have somehow imprisoned a little dog in my chest, and his tail is wagging furiously! I would greatly appreciate it if the dog were outside of my chest so that I might keep it for some company in my little house."
With a loud BeeeeeeeeeeeeP, the god Ba-Thump appeared. "How on the great flat earth did you get a little dog stuck in your chest?" he asked sympathetically.
"I don't know. I just heard him!" said Timus, miserably.
"Well now," said Ba-Thump, "let's get the little guy out of you, so that he may wag properly." Ba-Thump reached into his fanny pack and pulled out a futuristic Swiss army knife, (although it looked no different from the Swiss army knives of today's world) and turning back to Timus, asked, "Is it ok if I do this the quick way? Zeus is having a party in a few minutes, and I simply cannot miss it."
"Oh, by all means!" said Timus. "Do it as quickly as you desire."
"Thank you," said Ba-Thump. And with that, he plunged the knife into Timus's chest. Timus naturally fell over, but with his last breath, he felt Ba-Thump reaching into his chest and pulling out a squirming red thing which he assumed was the little dog.
And so, Timus died, albeit unnecessarily, but he died a happy man. Ba-Thump felt terrible for accidentally killing his patient, so he pleaded with Zeus and the two gods agreed that TImus deserved a memorial. So they took the thumping red thing and made a pattern with it in the sky, thus giving us the constellation called  Lub-Dub.

The End.