Love To Hate You

Chapter 31

Asher

Me and Alyssa arrive back at the lake house, generously suntanned, still dripping wet from the lake, and to an uproar of screaming.

"I'm not saying that you did anything, I'm just saying I don't feel safe-"

"You don't feel safe? What do you think I'm going to do, murder someone? Oh wait, I forgot, that's exactly what you think I'm going to do. That's exactly what you think I did."

"Cassian, stop being ridiculous! I have never accused you of anything! I may have had my moments of doubt, but you are my son!"

"Yeah, I am, so fucking act like it, will you?"

"Don't you dare swear at me-"

"What, does that scare you too? Does that make you think I'm going to kill you, too? You better watch your back, mom, because you're next."

"How can you make jokes like that? How can you expect people not to blame you when you act like this constantly?"

"I don't expect people not to blame me. I know you blame me. I blame me. But you act like you don't know what the fucking problem is when we both know what your fucking problem is with me."

"How dare you speak to your own mother like this? I just don't know where I went wrong with you! Go to your room, right now, and get out of my sight."

"Fucking gladly." He storms past all of us and up the stairs, footsteps echoing loudly in the sudden silence.

Mrs Jackson sits down on the couch, crying. Alyssa rushes over like the dutiful daughter she is, hastily offering consolation. I stay there, fixed in my position, unsure where I stand in the Jackson's family drama.

Alyssa looks up at me from her place on the couch, her blonde waves still wet and sticking to her face, and widens her eyes at me, glancing towards the top of the stairs and back at me. I tilt my head to the side in question. She stares at the exact same place before glaring at me more aggressively, nodding her head subtly towards it. Oh. You want me to go up? I ask her silently with a series of eye movements.

Alyssa nods imperceptibly. Check on him, please. She mouths, blue eyes wide and pleading. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who she's referring to.

Trying to move as quietly and discreetly as possible, I make my way up the stairs, opening the door to me and Cas's shared room. The lights are off, the curtains drawn, the only source of light being the tiny slit between the floor and the door.

I flip on the light switch, look around, and freeze.

Cas is sat on the floor, in the furthest corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chest, arms around them, face buried in his arms, his whole body shaking with tremors.

Holy shit. It's Cas. Crying.

I kneel down next to him, not knowing what to do or what to say. "Cas?" I breathe, taking one of his hands and squeezing it tightly between mine. I can feel it trembling.

"Get the fuck out." His voice is thick and muffled, lacking its usual strength.

I try to get up from my position, feeling a tug of resistance. Cas is still gripping my hand, raising his head to look at me, his usually dark blue eyes flooded over with tears and reminding me of broken glass. A small sob escapes his lips, the sound agonizingly raw. My heart feels like it's being squeezed inside an iron fist.

Cas's arms tighten around his legs, curling up into himself even more as another sob wracks his body, and god, I can't leave him like this.

Dropping down beside him, I cup my hand around his face. "Hey," I whisper gently, stroking my thumb over his jaw. "It's okay."