Brooklyn Nine Nine: Harper Benson {On Hold}

The Slump

Amy, Jake, Charles, and Rosa are sitting by Jake's desk talking, "For the last time, the best cop movies, in order: Training Day, Lethal Weapon, and Fargo. End of discussion." Amy said

"Wrong. Die Hard is the best cop movie of all time. One cop heroically saving the day while everyone else stands around and watches. It's the story of my life." Jake said

"I've never seen Die Hard." Harper said

Jake gasped, "Okay you and I are going to watch every single Die Hard movie tonight." He said

"I like Turner & Hooch. Tom Hanks, reluctant friendship with a dog. That hits me where I live." Charles said

"You know I heard they were making a remake with Josh Peck from Drake and Josh." Harper said

"No. Robocop. It's got everything Ike--gratuitous violence." Rosa said

"Oh, I thought you were listing things." Jake said

"I was. I'm done." Rosa said

"Okay." Jake said

"Let's talk Bad Boys. That's the perfect cop movie. Mr. Smith, lookin' fine. A hot cup of tea leone. Come on." Gina said

"Francois Truffaut's Breathless. What? Terry likes foreign films." Terry said

"Even though I agree with Gina on Bad Boys because I loves me some Will Smith, my favorite cop movies of all time will always be Rush Hour. Jackie Chan is such a badass." Harper said

"Mm-kay. There is a correct answer for this question, so gather around for the greatest cop film of all time, please refrain from texting

during our presentation."

Jake turned on the computer and showed a video in which Hitchcock tried to talk to prostitutes but was hit in the testicles.

"There it is." Jake said

"Come on, guys, that happened four years ago." Hitchcock said

"Shh, this is the best part. She comes back, takes the wallet and here she goes!" Jake yelled

Hitchcock was hit in the balls, again.

99th Precinct

Morning Briefing

"Hey, love the sweater. Who you slayin' tonight, lady killer?" Jake asked Boyle.

"Well, we shall see what we shall see" Charles answered.

"No, you're dressed exactly like the lady killer" Jake said, pointing to the poster of the wanted 'lady Killer'.

"Damn it! This is Jeffrey Dahmer's corduroys all over again." Charles said

"All right, let's get started. Scully, where are you on digitizing the old case files?" Terry asked.

"As of yesterday, I'm officially 1% done".

"Why are you smiling? That's nothin'." Terry said

"There's thousands of cases, and for each one, I have to fill out 200 little box thingies on 50 different screens." Scully said

"At least you get to sit on your butt all day." Rosa said to Scully said

"That's actually the worst part. My doctor said I have an anal canyon." Scully said

"And that's the end of this latte." Harper said as she disgustedly put her drink down.

"Ugh, god, Scully. Why are you always telling us about your disgusting body?" Jake said