Drowning

Chapter 6

I am SO SO SO SORRY that I have not been updating this story. Lots of...things have been going on in my life and it's been very exhausting. But I will continue this story until its end! Sorry the smut was shitty. I'm running out of ideas and I don't think this story is going to be entirely long but I'm going to try my best cause I want it to be ATLEAST an hour long. Anyways enjoy! <33
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After what happened with Harry I have been thinking a lot. I really like him but I'm scared. I'm not sure what the future will bring and I've got a lot of things from my past holding me down.

I don't want to disappoint him though. I know my mental health matters a lot, especially in a relationship but I just can't seem to get rid of this little ball in the pit of my stomach. I know I shouldn't let what happened to me affect my relationships, especially with Harry but you can't just forget about something like that, and expect not to have a little bit of baggage.

I wish I had someone to talk to you about this, but I don't feel ready to tell Harry yet. I don't want to tell Liam and I can't tell Zayn because we aren't close enough yet And I want to tell Niall, but I'm not sure how he will react. I love Niall with all my heart and I am scared one day I'll say something stupid and he'll leave me. But in all reality I know he'll never leave me and I'm stuck with him.

So I decided to talk to Niall about it once he gets off work. For now to kill time, I decided to watch Grease one of the best movies of all time.

After the movie I decided to scroll insta. I did a bit of scrolling when Harry's profile got recommended and-HOLY SHIT! He looked so HOT in these photos! I may or may not have stalked his profile for a little bit when I heard the front door open and close.

"HONEY IM HOME~" Niall sing-songed "IN HERE!" I yelled back. Soon enough he barged through my door. " Hey Lou, whatcha up to?" "Nothing, just stalking Harry's insta a little bit" I mumbled.

"You WHAT!?!" He yelled "Nothing, I did nothing! I didn't purposely search for him, it just so happens that his profile was recommended to me....and I seen a photo that got me hooked and I was suddenly on his page and looking at his other photos where he may or may not be shirtless." I half yelled half mumbled (A.N. Hush that's possible ok you can yell and mumble at the same time!) .

"Sure" he said dragging out the 'e'. "Anyways enough about that I need to talk to you Ni" I said knowing there was no getting out of this now. " oh what's up Lou? something wrong?" " no not really, but I just wanted to talk about Harry. I really like him but I can't stop worrying that he'll be the same as, you know, and while I know that's probably not true because he seems like a really really good guy I can't help but worry." I admitted.

" oh Lou. It's not your fault it's just PTSD from him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and you can take as much time as you need and go as slow as you want. You can always talk to me and I'll always be here. He won't be the same and even if he was, I'd kick his ass."

" thanks Ni, I just keep having the feeling of a little ball in the pit of my stomach and I know you always be here. same goes for you, I'll always be here if you need me." We hugged and Niall said " also Lou, I can tell you really like him. Please don't let your past destroy your future. I'm always here if you need to talk and I'm sure Harry will be there too. Just make sure to communicate with him, because if something were to happen as in you got upset because he did something or something like that, that related to the past and made you upset that usually wouldn't make you upset then it'd be unfair to him to make him think he did something wrong. I'm not saying anyone's a perfect angel and I'm not saying he won't make you upset or you won't make him upset at times but you shouldn't always have to worry. and most importantly, remember respect goes both ways."

"Wow Niall I didn't think you could be so wise" "yea, I've been told I'm wise beyond my years." He said with a sassy hair flip as we laughed. " But I am serious. I want you to be safe Lou."

" But seriously, thank you Niall. I owe you a lot"

" that's what friends are for Lou."

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Hello, how are we doing lovelies? Sorry it's a bit short and not that much is in it. It's just kind of a filler until I get more motivation and inspiration and ideas. Hope you guys like it and Enjoy all the sweet Nouis discussions. Take care lovelies and stay safe, stay hydrated, and remember I love you all! <3

-M <3