Meet me in the Afterglow

Chapter 3

"Question po?" Lilac look over to the person next to her.
It was Kent.
"Yes po? What is it?" she answered.
"San po pwede ilagay yung markdown if the agent said an inaccurate information about the product?" he asked respectfully.
"Under sya ng Displayed then subparameter ng inaccurate info." Lilac smiled.
"Okay! Thanks po!" he smiled showing his small dimple.

Ay shit! Bakit may dimples? Kahinaan ko yan! Erase! Erase! Bakla sya!

"Bayad po fifty pesos per word." Lilac said teasing him.
"Ay may bayad po?" he smiled over her after sitting on his computer chair.
"Ay di mo ko madadaan sa dimples mo. Bayad mo ah. Lista ko na yan." she smiled over him.

This is how Lilac wants to overcome her awkwardness to anyone. She loves to start light conversation since lagi siyang nasasabihan na masungit.

"Kent, lunch na kami. Di ka sasabay?" Raven asked him.
"May ginagawa pa po ako." he answered.
"Ay ang bait naman masyado nung "po". Sumabay ka na. Or mas gusto mo kasabay si Michelle." Raven added.

Lilac was just looking over him and observing how he would react.

"Ay hindi po. Kaya na nyang kumain magisa. Malaki na sya tho maliit yung height." he smiles.
"Ay sumbong kita kay Michelle. Lagot ka." Lilac teases, "Sumabay ka na ng lunch. Dito lang naman kami sa pantry." she added.

Kent followed them and that's when their friendship starts. Raven, Mae, Lilac and Kent.

"Pst! Bababa ako bili muna ng coffee sama ka?" Kent asks Lilac.
"Sandale naman kakadating lang oh? Di pa nagiinit pwet ko."
"Sabihan mo din or message mo si Raven. Palagi kasing late eh."
"Goods na daw sya. Maya na lang daw sya bili pagdating." sagot ni Mae.
"Oks oks! Let's go! Kuya Jeff, baba lang kami magpapabili ka?" Lilac asks.
"Nope! I'm good."

This is their everyday routine to the point na nakasanayan na nila palagi. Parang di pwedeng hindi sila bababa para bumili ng coffee or food bago magstart ang work nila.

"Oh! Shoe lace ko." Lilac stops walking and was about to bend when all of a sudden Kent bent over.

Uh-oh what is this? Bakit ka may pagganyan Kent Pineda?

"Paka clumsy kasi!" Inis na sabi ni Kent sabay tayo.
"Ay wow sorry ah? Malay ko bang natanggal? Tsaka yuyuk—"
"Shush! Let's go na." He said as he pushes her holding on her waist.

Holy shit! Kent wag jan sa part na yan!

Lilac was about to cut off her breath but good thing she's able to manage it and let off that scenario from her mind.

She never likes someone touching her. Especially, if that is a man. If she's already comfortable with that person, she may let them pero if hindi, that only means hindi pa sya ganun ka comfortable sa tao na yun.

"Magtatake muna ako ng call today. Ikaw?" Kent asks Lilac.
"Ako?" she replied.
"Ay hindi, yung board. Ay board ka nga pala." he said teasingly.
"Ah talaga ba Kent? Pakyu." Lilac said and rolls her eyes, "Edi magtawag ka."

Kent just smiled and open's his work station. He tagged ready to take in calls without any knowledge that the speakers of his laptop is on loudspeaker mode.

*Ring ring ring*

His laptop rang loud and that made Lilac shake and went out of the room immediately.

Everyone was confused except Mae.

"Kent, padouble check muna nung headset setting mo. Hindi ata naka headset mode." Mae said and follows Lilac immediately.

The others were left confused especially Kent. So, he followed Mae and didn't expect what he's going to witness.

For the past two months it's the first time he saw Lilac on her weakness. She's crying so bad. Sobbing like a child, as if she needed so much care.

"What happened?" He asks Mae almost a whisper.
"Nothing. She's fine naman." Mae answered and guided Lilac to a different room.

When Mae found where Lilac was, she's already throwing fists directly onto her chest, kicking her feet, slapping her face and scratching her skin. It was hard to see the brave Lilac on that stage.

"Lilac! Breathe in..." she demonstrated it to Lilac who's crying and gasping for air at the same time, "Breathe out..."

It is always like that for Mae and she knows how to calm her down.

"Anyare besh? What happened this time?" Mae asks.
"I...I...I g-guess... Yung..." pilit na nagsasalita si Lilac.
"You guess?" Mae asks and still continue on demonstrating how to do inhale and exhale to Lilac.
"Ring ng phone." she finally said it.
"Tama nga ako. Okay na besh. Sinabihan ko naman na si Kent." she smiles, "Goods ka na?"

Lilac cries.

"Ay sus... it's okay besh."
"Besh kasi baka matakot sila tapos-"
"Ay naku hayaan mo sila besh. Kaya mo ng lumabas?"

Lilac nodded.

As soon as they stepped out of the PWD comfort room, she saw Kent looking worried over her.

Fuck.

She said to herself and made her cry more.

And that continues. There are times when her panic attacks was so unpredictable and no certain triggers. Like one time, she was just casually working and all of a sudden she can't breathe. She doesn't have any choice but to run again to her safest place (PWD Rest room) and unexpectedly, Mae wasn't there. She tried her very best to calm herself but for some reason, mukhang narinig sya ng langit and Mae knocks on the door.

"Besh? Mae toh. Open the door."

With Lilac's shaky hands, she opened the door. And once Mae entered, she guided her again how to do her grounding techniques. After a minute, someone knocks. It was Kent, holding Lilac's flask and handing it over to Mae with his worried eyes.

"Alam ni Kent?" Lilac asks with his tired voice and puffy eyes.

"Siya nagsabi kasi nakita ka niyang tumakbo palabas. Tapos pinuntahan na ko sa training room." she answered.

"Oh fuck." Lilac mumbled.

"Besh...it's fine. Buti nga observant si Kent. Kagaya neto, wala ako. Maganda din na kahit papano may maglook over sayo aside saken."

"Nakakahiya kasi besh. Sayo na nga lang nahihiya na ko eh."

"Besh, ano ka ba. Kahit siguro ikaw, if andito ako or kung sino man sa gantong situation maiintindihan at tutulong ka din."

Mae has a point.

She just agreed to her and let all those words sink in to his mind.

Will i ever be okay? Will i ever find the peace pf mind that i want?

Lilac asks herself while doodling on her notes and she felt someone looking over her.

It was Kent.

Staring at her directly in to her eyes and soul. As if he wanted to say something.

It's been a week or two after Kent witness everything.

"Bakit? Anong gusto mo?" Lilac mouthed.

Kent is not answering and just stare over her without blinking his eyes.

Anong problema netong taong toh?

Lilac asked herself, "Problema mo?" she mouthed again and started to get awkward.

She's trying her best to not break the eye contact, kasi naniniwala si Lilac na if you break the eye contact, that means there is something. But she failed. It is hard for her to keep an eye contact with him.

She then raised her middle finger and goes back to what she's doing.

Shit! Anong gusto nun.

She tried to look over him and finally he broke the eye contact. Not even smiling or whatever but he just continued working and she never asks her what was that for.

I think this is a bad news oh my fucking God.

She said and slams her head to her desks.