ᴍɪɴᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇs

|6|

I knock on Anna's door at the end of the afternoon, planning on retrieving a couple of books.

I've read so many the last week, trying to distract myself from the horrible awake-nightmare that I had.

Tomorrow I have my psychiatrist consult, the last time I've seen him, I told that I was going to start reading again and he was happy that I was busying myself in healthy ways and requested a little book club between us.

But how do I tell him that the books that I read are anything healthy?

I blush at every line.

I get wet every sentence.

I consider touching myself at every chapter; something I've never done before.

Anna said she has a new book for me, something to make my head spin, as she put it.

Anna opens her door just a fraction, one hand in the wall to keep me from entering and the other one behind her back, eyes wide and a nervous smile in her face.

"Oh, Angel! Haha.. what are you doing here?" Her voice was high pitched at the end.

"Hm, the book?" I ask just as muffled groans come from her apartment. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course it is!" She smiles big, "wait here, I'll get it for you." and closes the door in my face.

When she opens her door again, is with the book in hands and I look at it with pursed lips, reading the title that says 'milkmaid for my uncle', already regretting listening to her.

I notice something on her collarbone and reach to touch it, "Is this blood?" I ask.

She recoils instantly.

"What?! No, of course not! Haha I was... Painting! Yeah, that." She says between giggles.

Alright...

"Well, I'm going..." I trail off, already walking away.

"Yeah yeah, bye. Tell me what you thought later."

*

Later that night as I am sitting in my bed, reading the hot but traumatizing book, the lights flicker a couple of times.

Blaming on the raging storm outside, I relax, until the feeling of not being on my body comes back.

Slut

I turn my head quickly, but there is nothing in there, even if I heard the whisper right by my ear.

Look at this, such a whore. Pityful...

Suddenly there are multiple whispers, together with a buzzing sound way too loud.

I put my finger in my ear and shake it slightly, but I feel something colliding with it.

I take my finger off fast, just as a bee flies past me, it surely wouldn't have come from...

Oh, God.

More buzzing and I'm running to the bathroom, trying to get a closer look at it until a hand pushes my face into the mirror.

Heart pounding I close my eyes and blindly run out of the bathroom, whatever that I was I have no wish to see it.

You can't fear what you can't see.

Tripping a few times, I make my way to the living room, wanting to feel safe, but a door creaks open and I realize is from the room where I locked the mirror.

The door is dark from the silver that I can see inside, but I won't go there, especially with the bloodied hand that is now clutching the door.

Right when all the lights turn off.

I don't know how long I stood there, frozen, with my eyes closed and in a cold sweat.

I heard a door opening and closing, I heard footsteps.

Something touching my arm.

But I only open my eyes when I hear Anna's voice, asking me if I was okay.

Her eyes worried, but I couldn't speak.

The room is lit, the door that held my nightmare closed and I rush to it to lock it, but find it is already.

I slump back against the wall, the events making me want to puke, to cry and scream, but will Anna think I'm insane?

But I am...

"Hey, are you okay? Do you want something to drink?" She asks, crouching down in front of me, not bordering to ask me anything more, and I'm thankful.

"Yeah, can you turn on the coffee maker?" I request, voice scratchy like I screamed for hours.

"Go sit on the couch, I'll be right back." I follow her order, pulling the comforter that is on the seat on top of me.

"I found this picture in the kitchen, is that your father?" She comes back a while later, with a picture and my coffee already done.

"It can't be, I don't have pictures with my parents." I say as I take the coffee from her while she keeps her inspection in the picture.

"Who is Ares then?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Ares?"

The wind picks up outside, the window opens with the force and Anna rushes to close, leaving the picture behind and I gather it.

It's me, there is no denying, same hair, same haircut but I'm so much younger, hand to hand with a man, a really fucking beautiful one.

I keep tracing us with my finger, especially him.

Who is it? I obviously know but my mind just can't figure it out.

"Ares." I repeat, the name so familiar...

My head itches, and I feel a hot breath against my cheek, just as if it was a sigh of relief.

And then I remember, "Ares."