The Sex Pistols Are Dead, But So Is My Heart (An Andrew Eldritch X Oc)

The sex pistols are dead, but so is my heart

"In a sea of faces, in a sea of doubt
In this cruel place your voice above the maelstrom
In the wake of this ship of fools I'm falling further down
If you can see me, Marian, reach out and take me home Marian
Marian, there's a weight above me
And the pressure is all too strong
To breathe deep
Breathe long and hard
To take the water down and go to sleep
To sink still further
Beneath the fatal wave
Marian I think I'm drowning
This sea is killing me I hear you calling Marian
Across the water, across the wave
I hear you calling Marian
Can you hear me calling you to
Save me, save me, save me from the grave"- Sisters of mercy

1978 was the last time I saw Andrew, I was leaving for America for college. He was in Oxford, he begged me to go with him, but I didn't feel like it was a right college for me. As I got on the train, he looked to me and kissed me. "Always remember me, marian" He said. I was blushing crazy, I've always had a crush on andrew and I think he had a crush on me too. Before I could say anything, the train started up and I shed one last tear as waved each other goodbye for a long time. Now it's 1983, Madonna and Michael Jackson are everywhere, everyone is watching risky business, valley girls are everywhere. Blah blah blah you get the point 1983 vs 1978 is a huge difference. Her, Andrew, and her best friend Adrian were punk rockers. the sex pistols were long forgotten unless you were in the punk scene like she was. Punk was considered a thing of the past to a lot of people. They moved onto things like Pat Bentar and The valley girls, but she was still true to who she was… a punk rocker.

I step off my flight and look around for my best friend Adrian, she was standing there waving. I haven’t seen her in forever, we both scream in happiness and hug. “Girl, I missed you so much!!” Adrian says. I look her up and down, she looks so different. “Same! I’m so glad we stayed in touch all this time. You look so different” I say, noticing she got rid of her mohawk and replaced it with long black hair and she was wearing a black corset and a black dress. “Yeah, I’m goth now. You look different too, but it’s pretty expected. I mean, you were gone for 5 years” She says laughing a bit and I look down guilty. I left everything behind for that long, it’s hard to believe. I know I went to America for a good reason, but I still feel guilt. “Don’t look sad, Marian, you had college! When you left, we were all sad, but you weren’t doing anything we wouldn’t do. I would’ve gone too.” Adrian says, hugging me a bit. I give her a weak smile. “What happened to Andrew?” I ask, wondering what happened to my first love. “Oh, he plays at clubs with his band all across europe! He followed his dream!! I gotta take you to one of his shows. They’re having one in Berlin tonight” As she said that, memories played in my head of all the times he said he was gonna make it big one day and everyone laughed, except me and Adrian. We knew that boy had talent that most could only dream of. “I knew he was gonna be a star one day” I say to her and she nods. “Exactly! Now we gotta make you look less american looking and give you a sexy goth makeover” She says, grabbing my bleached hair. “He loves blondes, so we don’t have to change this. He just recently broke up with his now ex girlfriend Claire and her hair was even more blonde than yours” Adrian says to me. 

I pull out a smoke and try to hide my jealousy. “Hopefully me coming back will make him happy and he’ll forget about her” I say. “He will be ecstatic! He always asks about you” she says. I smile, but try to hide it. “He still thinks about me and asks about me a lot really?” I ask and she nods. “Yes, girl!! He would never forget you, the first girl who stole his heart… and other things” She says beginning to laugh and I hit her jokingly. “Oh shut up, someone had to rob the cradle” I say and she begins to laugh harder. “You are 5 months younger than him, so technically… he robbed your cradle” She says. I give her a don't expose me look as we walk outside and get into her car. She starts driving while playing Billy idol. “I remember when he was in the band generation x, now he’s making solo albums… damn” I say. “Yeah, it’s crazy. I still have all of our generation x records.” Adrian says and I look excited. “Really? You kept everything?!” I ask excitedly. “Of course!!” she says as we pull up to her apartment. Later on as she gives me a makeover, I walk out emo af. I have scene kid hair, my eyeliner and eyeshadow is rlly black, I’m wearing a black skull tank top, ripped jean shorts, pentagram vans. “Welcome to the goth club, bestie!!” Adrian says excitedly, showing me my makeover and I gasp in happiness. “I look beautiful!” I say. “Yess!!! Andrew is gonna die and probably get a super boner” she says and I blush. We get on a bus trip to Berlin and it takes forever literally.

“How much longer?” I ask bored as Adrian plays with her gum bored af. “Uhh about 20 more minutes” She says sighing. “I’m really excited, he might not recognize me tho” I say. “He will, not everyone has piercing blue eyes like you” adrian says. “I just have boring af brown ones.” She continues on. Me, her, and andrew all had different eye colors. I had blue, she had brown, and he had green. His eyes were a brownish green to be exact, but everytime he cried his eyes turned a beautiful shade of emerald green that nobody could mistake for brown. We finally arrive in Berlin and my anxiety goes up badly. “This is it…” I say. “I will see Andrew for the first time in years. I wonder how much he’s changed” I say. “A lot. He’s definitely changed more than us” I wonder what she means by that. She points to a club. “That’s where he’s playing, let’s go!!” she says excitedly, grabbing my hand and dragging me with her as we run to the door. I see a sign on the wall. “Sisters Of Mercy” is the band playing tonight. I point to it. “Is that his band?” I ask and she nods. We walk in and I look around, I don’t see him. “Where is he?” I ask. “Backstage getting ready” she says, pointing towards some doors. We walk through them. I just follow her lead because she knows this place way more than I do. She knocks on a dressing room, my whole body is shaking out of nervousness. “Who is it?” I hear a voice call out, it was definitely Andrews. “It’s adrian! I brought someone along” she says. “Who?” he asks through the door. “It’s a surprise, biatch!! Come out” she says. “I’m coming, I’m coming” He says annoyed, but laughing a bit. When he opens the doors, I feel butterflies in my stomach. He’s changed a lot, but just got sexier. He stares at me as I stare at him and he starts stuttering. “Marian..is that you?” he asks. Something was different about him besides his style, he seemed almost undead. His skin was very pale, paler than usual. he had an aura about him that didn’t seem human but I shrugged it off because that’s crazy and I must be hallucinating or something. “Yes, it is” I hug him and he just looks so shocked. He looked me up and down. “Wow you grew up” He was at a loss for words. “I can definitely say the same about you” I say smiling sexily. When I left, he had reddish brown hair and was still awkward, now he was so confident and looked completely different. He had longish black hair, wore a leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans on, had an earring in. He had a cigarette in his mouth and took it out of his mouth to say something. “Marian, please stay for the show. You will love it” He says. I nod. “I wouldn't miss it for the world” I say. “Let’s go outside and talk, there’s a lot of things we need to catch up on” He says, beginning to walk towards the door, moving his hips in a super sexy way. 

AN: Just imagine those vidz when he’s on stage and moving his hips rlly sexily peoplezzz

 

He walks so differently now, he’s gotten so confident. He used to be so insecure and awkward, but now, nobody would believe he was ever insecure or awkward in the past. We get outside and he offers me a smoke. I take it and I look at his beautiful eyes, hidden by black shades. “I’m so sorry I left for so long. I didn’t mean to” I say, biting my lip. He looks at me. “Don’t apologize please marian, you didn’t do anything wrong” He says. “You were going to college. We all understood, even me and adrian wouldn’t have let you throw away your chance towards a good future just so you wouldn’t hurt us. You’re back now and that’s all that matters” He says and I nod. “I guess you’re right. I missed you so much” I say as I keep staring at him, I still can’t believe it was him. “I missed you so much too. I thought of you everyday” He said. “I did too, Andrew, I did too” I say. “You are gonna love my band. Remember how everyone laughed at me for wanting to be a rockstar? Look at me now” He says. “Yes, I was just telling Adrian about that” I say. "Yeah because it's ironic and karma is a cruel mistress because now all the people that made fun of me are coming up and asking for my autographs at every show and work retail" He said laughing. "Hey I worked retail! It isn't so bad" I lie. "It is totally bad, darling, admit it" He says. I roll my eyes. "Whatever whatever" I say, not denying it. "Ha! You aren't denying it! Anyway, I gotta go in for the show. Come on!" He says excitedly.