Thought Process

Final note

It has been not so well so far...

My life has gone upside down, downside up and all the way around; only for me to go through whatever happened in between. But I guess I've grown used to it.

It has become a day to day thing now. Doesn't feel any different though. If I remember correctly, the first time it hurt and then it only stung. Now it barely does anything. But who cares, if people did care they would've understood. Not like entirely their faults as well. Just some perks of being bad at communicating. It is not until you say it that the public start taking a notice to it. Otherwise, everyone has their own lives...own shit to deal with. It's not a big deal these days to ignore a struggling or mentally stressed individual. I wonder, has it been this way always?

But who cares?

Not any child. Not any adult. Not any close ones.

Why should I then? Is it that important to do so? When my presence has no impact, why should I exist to begin with?

However, I've already given up on these thoughts. Life is hard and this world is a cruel, miserable place for life.

It takes proper care, nourishment and peotection to turn a sapling into a tree. If they have lives, so do we. But people already have their own plants to grow and nurture. When will they look at the ones struggling to grow? Not me, though.

I gasp for breath and decide to look around. What's new to see? It just the same rented one bhk apartment that costs half my salary each month. Just a small 800 sq.ft. area that abodes me and my second-hand belongings. What's there to see new? Only the National Olympiad Certificate that never played any role in my life. Other than that? Only regrets and cokntemplations.

Thats it.

My eyes scan around the room. Ah! A picture of her and me. Good times tho. I would've been really well off if she never met me in the first place. But was it really her fault though? I could've turned things around long back.

Why didn't I then? Beats me.

Is there anything else there for me to take a look at? Nothing that I can really think of but...OH! My family photo. Haven't seen that in months.

I wonder, why it went neglected so far? Maybe because they aren't around anymore. At times it is hard to believe the judicial system is still running fine. I guess it is time for me to join my family once again.

I take a good look at the photograph and reminisce over the fond memories I have had with them. I step up on the chair. Smile. And tie the noose that will forever chain me to the world of no return. I heave a last sigh and tumble the chair down...

I am sure they'll be happy to see me after such a long time.