Safe And Sound

Maybe It'll Be Okay

!!WARNING!!
MENTION OF SELF-HARM WILL BE PRESENT. IF OFFENDED/TRIGGERED ETC, YOU ARE FREE TO SKIP THE CERTAIN PARTS AS IT WILL NOT CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE CHAPTER. THANK YOU!!
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Your heart starts to beat rapidly and your breathing becomes a bit more shallow as you stand up, dragging out the pace and open the door. Sollux is on his feet immediately, his hands balled into fists as he asks you in a strained calm voice.

"What... what diid you do?" You're on the verge of tears as he speaks and take a deep breath.

"I...I RELAPSED..." you whisper, hugging your arms close to you, not looking at him and instead the floor. He stands there wondering what you relapsed on.

"W-what? What diid you do??" Hes getting a bit impatient at your unclear and choppy answers.

"I...I DID IT AGAIN... I CUT... AGAIN..." you choke out crestfallen. Now he knows how pathetic and weak you really are, despite everything that has happened. You hear him make an odd sound that sounds like he's mocking your sorrow.

"Kk...what made you...?" He asks. Jegus, you get that he's worried but can't he see you are clearly not in the mood for talking and really just want to end your life?

"CAN WE... JUST.. STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THIS?? I'M TIRED AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW..." You hiccup while trying to keep the tears from flooding over. He sighs in disfavor but agrees.

"Fiine, but you're 2tayiing here untiil we can both bee 2ure you're okay agaiin, alriight? IIm not nece22ariily mad... ju2t very dii2appoiinted. II want two help you 2o, we wiill waiit a week and iif you have any fre2h mark2 after that, II am per2onally flu2hiing your blade2. Don't worry, II wiill fiind them." He kisses you on the lips softly and then leads you back to his bedroom to get some sleep. You huddle under the covers, wanting to not exist. Your existence is disgusting, as is everything else about you. You despise everything about you; your eyes barely have any glow in them, your teeth are dulled, your horns are nubby and fucked up, your mind is twisted and brighter than your own damn future, your heart has been shattered, stomped on, thrown around, beaten, and crushed to nothingness, and your body in itself is sickening and you really just wish you could leave this world. Sollux doesn't really care, your dad sure as hell doesn't. Oh, look, you're back at square one. No, not even square one. You haven't even begun, barely scratched the surface of what you thought could be. How immensely dense you were to think you could actually have a chance at love or whatever the fuck Sollux thinks of you.

SOLLUXS P.O.V

You sigh and take a seat on the couch, closing your eyes and thinking. You cant believe Karkat told you it was gonna be fine when it clearly wasn't. You should've known something like this would fucking happen. You don't know how long it was before he started up again. However, no matter how much you want to just break into his home and trash his blades, you are true to your word and will wait a week. Your mind races with the endless possibilities of what would've happened if you never had shown up. What was he doing before that? He was probably passed out because when you arrived, his arms were bandaged. You furrow your eyebrows and cover your face with your hands, groaning somewhat too loudly.

It's been 4 hours since you picked Karkat up and no sound has emitted from your room. Absolute silence. He's sleeping, right? You better not wake him. After all... he probably lost a good amount of blood during his "session". You're saddened that he had to resolve to that and even more so that this is already the second time you couldn't help him. You decide to make him some soup, since you feel like that's the only thing that will help. The light aroma of chicken noodle soup fills the kitchen area. Taking out a medium sized bowl, you pour it in and add 3 ice cubes for good measure, sticking it on an in-bed tray and knock on the door quietly. Nothing happens.

KARKAT'S P.O.V

It's dark. Very dark. You hold up your hands in front of you and can't see a damn thing. You try walking and that seems to work so you keep doing this. It's surprisingly calming. Then you hear an odd ticking. 'WHAT THE FUCK?' You think. You stop and the ticking stops, you walk and the ticking starts again. You run and the ticking becomes faster and then when you feel like your head is about to explode, you fall into the darkness, laughing above you and you bolt upright in bed, covered in sweat and tears.

That's when the door swings open with such force that it gets stuck in the wall for a few seconds. Sollux swiftly sets the tray down on the little nightstand next to the bed and immediately holds you in his arms, taking into account your cuts. You bury your face in his chest, tearing suddenly streaming down your cheeks in hot waves. Your feeble body racks with sobs as you cling to him. He uses a free hand to thread through your hair in an attempt to soothe you.

"Kk... are you alriight...? What happened?" He asks softly and quietly. You just shake your head and huddle close to him, trying to steady yourself after your outburst. "II have 2ome 2oup for you... would you liike that?" You nod sheepishly and let go of him so he can place the tray on your lap. Fortunately, it had time to cool off so it's a good temperature. You pick up the spoon shakily and eat the soup at a sluggish pace. Sollux keeps a sharp eye on you as you eat, making sure you don't hurt yourself more than you already have. After you finish the soup he gives you a small smile and then lifts your chin gently with his thumb and index finger, kissing you passionately before exiting to put the bowl in the sink and the tray in the cupboard. You just sit there a bit stunned at first but feel your cheeks heating up quickly; partly from the soup and partly from the kiss. You forgot how happy you get when his kisses you. His lips are so soft... Oh... Oh that would be nice if he only- "KARKAT SHUT THE FUCK UP.YOU KNOW THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN" You slap yourself but whimper upon impact. Gog, you are such a dunce sometimes. He comes back and scoots in next to you, holding you in his arms and you curled up in the crook of his arms.

"THANK YOU... I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A PATHETIC TROLL..." you stutter in a hushed voice. He just nuzzles you, holding you close, comfortably, in a warm embrace that you enjoy and never want to end.

"II love you, Karkat, and II don't ever want you two forget iit."

You snuggle as close as you possibly can into him, soaking up his warmth. This... this is what you want, what you have been waiting for for such a long, long time. You just want all the pain to go away, to stop. You wonder what you're doing so wrong that's preventing you from being happy. Truly happy.

The sun makes its way across the horizon, the stars gradually popping up, the moon shining brightly above the fluffy grey-white clouds, sending a soft glow through the window as you let your eyes close, and your mind drift off into the fake reality that you can only wish to be true.