If love could win

The dorm

When I woke up that morning I realized I had not dreamed what had happened the day before. Simon was still there, sleeping next to me. Just as the first time he had been sleeping in my dorm with me, I could not keep myself from touching him. My fingers gently caressed his face. His curly hair. He was so pretty. When he woke up he looked at me with a little smile on his lips.

"Good morning," he said and yawned.

"Good morning," I replied. I felt as the happiest person to exist. He had given me a second chance. A chance I probably did not deserve. But I took it and thought to myself that I better do right by him this time.

"It is cold," Simon complained.

"Are you freezing darling?" I teased. "Come here and let me warm you up." I pulled him closer and kissed his neck and down his collarbone. He giggled.

"Did you just call me darling, Wille?" Simon asked teasingly. I looked up at him. Felt the embarrassment build up in my chest. He said he was cold. I felt warm. He had just given me a second chance. Maybe it was too early.

"Maybe I did," I said. Simon giggled and touched my face. His fingers danced gently over my cheeks. "Sorry. It is maybe too early."

"It is okay," he said. "You don't need to blush."

"I am not blushing," I defended myself.

"You are blushing, honey," Simon replied.

"So I am your honey now, huh?" I replied.

"I guess so," he said and kissed my cheek. I felt so warm inside. Happy. He was really there. He came back. And this time I would not fuck things up between us. I promised myself that. I got up from the bed and Simon stole all the duvet and rolled into it. Just like he did the first time he slept in here. I could not help it. I smiled. Probably like a fool. "So am I going to pretend I took the bus?" We had not said how we should act around others. If we could hold hands and kiss in front of our classmates. If we could be open this time. Or if we even were in a relationship.

"Do you want to pretend you took the bus?" I asked. He shook his head. Seemed to be perfectly happy laying on myself rolled into my duvet.

"If I could choose, we would not need to hide," he said. We both sighed longingly. I wanted that too. I wanted to be with him. And I did not want him to be a secret.

"I know. I don't want to hide you, Simon. But maybe we can be lowkey until we have talked everything through?" I said. I knew that was not really what Simon probably wanted. But he nodded either way. Because we did not have much of a choice. I came with a lot. And I hoped it was not too much for Simon to handle.

"Okay," he said. He got up and picked up his trousers from the floor. I pulled him close and kissed him again. He was so pretty. When we both had clothes on we went down to breakfast. We sat down on opposite sides of the table. Not next to each other. I could not risk sitting next to him. Not if we were to be lowkey. I would not be able to control myself, I had a feeling. I would want to hold his hand. Have a hand on his thigh under the table. Just touch him. I noticed that the other first year boys had their eyes on us. I felt like the second and third years also looked our way, more than usual. A bit curious. Wondering. But no one said anything about it. And I was thankful. Because I did not know what I would say if someone asked.

***********

Felice and I were in my dorm. She had gotten here before dinner, because I asked her to come. It was not a nice dinner anyways and I needed to talk. And she was the only one except Simon I had. And Simon was at home now. His mother was not very happy he had not texted her that he would not sleep at home the night before. I could understand that. Now that Sara lived here, he was the only one his mother had. Maybe she was scared of losing him too. That he also rather lived here than with her. I knew he would not trade living at home for living here though.

"So have you guys talked?" Felice asked me. She of course talked about me and Simon.

"We have," I said. Her eyes were glistening. She wanted to know everything. I knew her.

"And what happened, Wille?" she asked.

"I decided on telling him about August. He is mad. He even said he would kill August," I replied. That made both of us laugh. Simon was way too cute to commit a crime like that.

"Well I would not blame him if he did," she said.

"Me neither. But I think I have convinced him that it is not worth ending up in jail for," I said. She if anyone knew what a shithead he was. She had even dated him herself. But she broke up with him after he cheated on her by kissing Sara in the stables. Or that was at least what I had heard.

"That is good. Any developments on the romance then?" she asked. I smiled. There was. There definitely was. "What has happened? Are you back together?"
"Well, you know he came after me when Jan-Olof tried to take me away?" I said. The whole school knew that. Felice nodded. "I asked him if we could talk after school and we did. And well, we kissed. And he might even have told me he loves me." Felice looked so happy.

"I told you, didn't I?" Felice teased. "He just needed some space."

"I think he still needs space," I said. "I don't think he has forgiven me totally for what I did. I don't think he trusts me." And I could not blame him. I would not have trusted myself after what I did.

"Anyone can see that he is head over heels for you. You need to build up his trust again," she said. "Make sure to hang out with him and show that he can trust you, okay?" I nodded. It sounded easier than it was in reality. But I had to try.

"So how is it to share a room with Sara?" I asked. I wanted to talk about something else. Ironically the first thing that came to mind was Sara. Simon's sister.

"It is nice. I am so happy she lives here now. She is special. Not like everyone else at this school," Felice said.

"Has she said something?" I asked. "Do you think she has an idea of who released the tape?" Felice shook her head.

"She has not said anything about it really. She has obviously been worried for Simon, but we have not really talked about who did it. And I don't think she knows," she said. "And I won't tell her. I think it is up to you and Simon who knows and not. It is not like she and August are friends or something anyways." I did not know who would want to be friends with him if they knew what he was capable of.

"Yeah, no. I think it is up to Simon if he wants her to know," I replied. "They are close and I don't want to make things complicated between them." Felice looked at me with compassion. Not like other people who did not really know how to approach me and almost seemed bothered by my grief.

"You must miss Erik when you see them together. I have never known siblings as close as Simon and Sara or you and Erik," Felice said. Simon had never told me much about what was going on in his own family. I had guessed he did not want to weigh me down with his issues too, even if I would like to help if I could. Simon and Sara had those issues in common and it was something no one else would be able to truly understand. Erik and I also had that bond. No one of my peers would be able to understand how it was to grow up as a prince. Only Erik understood that and that unique understanding had made us closer as brothers.

"I do, but I am so happy they have each other. Simon at least has her, whatever happens to us," I said. Felice hugged me. I took her embrace and wanted to stay there for a little longer. I had gone the whole Christmas break craving human contact.

"Hey, he said that he loves you and that is a positive development, right?" Felice said.