The Nerd Has A Boner: Extras

Extra 9.0

Sarah's POV

It's Christmas Eve. I've felt how cold it is and heard the ham Papa boasts about Sandy cooking. I pretend just as much as Papa does. I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. The smell of the tree and seeing flash of color flicker. Everywhere is decorated. Everywhere looks like a home, I don't know.

I got downstairs to hear Mom. "Sarah, come here," she said.

I walk towards the couch in the living room and sit as Max is upstairs.

"Can you call over Oliver? He should spend Christmas with us." Her face is extra exaggerated and strained. I can see her hair messy.

"Okay," I look at her. She's not acting like my mom. My addict mom. I wanted to call Oliver, but he would want to be alone with me at some point.

"Oliver owes me a movie. I haven't watched one with him and Audrey."

I get up and head upstairs to call him.

..

I sit downstairs on the couch with Max and Mom while Papa sleeps. Oliver said he would come once he got Audrey with him. Max is already playing the movie. I can hear Mom next to me in a cheery voice.

"I love this movie. I watched this with Sandy," she said. Her legs show the padding in her, and all of her hair is in loose ponytails. Max has on a superhero shirt. The Christmas special of Little Bear plays.

"Really?" Max exclaims.

Mom nods and turns to me. "How are you and Oliver?"

"Fine," I say. I can tell she didn't want to hear that. An upset look is on her.

"Just fine? Or are you guys breaking up? What did I miss?" She asked more. Max couldn't tell we talked as the movie played.

"Well, when you were addicted to drugs and asked for money to take Papa to court, I was getting sexually adults twice and paying bills," I tell her. The worst. Every moment now is with her here. She can't be the mom before. I'm not blaming her or want that.

"What?" Her voice raised louder over the movie. Max turned his head. His eyes have fallen.

"Are you guys arguing again? During Little Bear?" He is upset.

"Sarah just told me she doesn't like Little Bear and rather not watch it now," Mom says. I turn and say,

"It's not what I watch." His head nods.

"It was a question. And, you know it won't last with arguing. It's Christmas, and I'm home from rehab. This is not how you should act. You haven't said anything to me." Mom starts going on about her difficulty beating drugs and thinking of us.

"Sorry," I say. Mom nods her head with a smile. That's all she wanted to hear. I don't want to do anything but finish the movie and go back to pretending it was just Max and I here after the shit she's done.

I sat quietly and watched the movie until Oliver knocked. I get up and walk to the door. The decorations jingle and the breeze is cold. Oliver didn't wear a onesie but a fancy knit shirt and simple pants. There's a Santa blanket wrapped with more presents in his arms. Audrey holds her gloves.

"Hi," Audrey says, walking in.

"Hey," I say. Max goes to Audrey. Mom gets up to see Oliver there.

"Oliver, merry eve," she tells him.

"The same, Mrs. Hill." He walks in. I shut the door close. His shoes come off. Audrey takes off her jacket. The coldness dissipates.

"Thanks for the presents." Oliver gives them to Max, and he puts them under the tree. They have names for all. He didn't need to get presents. He doesn't even have a job.

"We're watching Little Bear, the Christmas special," I say, walking and sitting on the couch. Oliver sits next to me and nods. His Mom didn't want Christmas with him. I sit here with my family intact. It's just a lie.

We all sit and finish the movie. Oliver talks with Max about a superhero. An hour or two passes as Oliver gets up to leave. He hasn't said anything to me.

"We should get going. Mom wants me back."

"Okay, I'll take you," he replies. His body is standing astray to her.

"Would I be able to stay with Sarah tonight, Mrs. Hill?" He asks.

"As long as you know protection." Mom didn't bother putting a fake care for it. Oliver already agreed while leaving in his Silverado. I could smell the linger of cider and wood.

"Sarah, did you know that Santa put more presents for me? Oliver must work for him."

Everyone soon goes their way. It's evening now I and walking with Oliver. We head upstairs. I close my room door and Oliver takes off his things. He brought a pair of pajamas.

Oliver doesn't seem sick anymore. His stance is bare and turned even as he changes near my bed. I sit and watch with a red face. I shouldn't watch it.

"Sarah, I'll be moving. My Mom got me money. She wants me out. Now," he said quietly, pulling his pants and shirt over himself. His pants hang long. His shirt is Christmas-themed.

"I'm sorry that I caused you all of that. It's Christmas Eve." I sigh as he turns.

I watch him walk to my bed and pull me into him. It's not anything I've seen him do.

"Sarah, we're not breaking up. My Mom wanted me to leave. I'm not going to stay. If the apartment you said is the amount. I'll have to take it," he said. I pull away from the view of my pillow and see his face like nothing.

I can't see anything wrong with him, but he's got me pulled here, and his body doesn't move. At all.

"Ollie," I can feel him breathe unsteady.

Oliver mewls. Then, I don't hear anything.

"Don't leave," he said.

There isn't a way I could leave with his death hold. His warm body is heavy. I feel his face hot against my neck and his hair near my face.

We lay down eventually. I figure he doesn't move because he's crying. I wouldn't be able to look at his tears. That was the point. My body is under his and still clings to me. I feel his heart beating.

My arms came round him from his being around me. We lay there in my bed for a while until he pulled back. His face is wet, and his face goes to mine before I can see. I felt his lips on mine, trying at something. Anything. The salt of his tears is in it. He pulls back and presses his lips at my neck.

"Oliver," my face turns red. I could see what he wanted. He leaned closer with his legs in from my straight ones. His arms are at my face. He hums.

"I could make things okay."

"No, we're not doing that right now. You don't need to" He doesn't continue. I do. I take down his pants, and he stops me with my hands up at his arms again. I can't tell that he's hard.

"I don't need you to fix me," he said.

I'm so quiet that I don't think I can hear myself.

"What else am I useful for?" I look at him.

"Sarah-" he begins to say.

"Leave it. Sleep for a while," He pulls his pants back up. I lay next to him.

We lay like that together until he pulled the blanket for me. My head goes on the pillow near his head. I never get good sleep. I lay facing away from him.

Oliver puts a hand on my lower back, where he rubs until I close my eyes.