The Dark Ring

Chapter 4.

It keeps going on like this. Not knowing what time goes by. I don't know how long I'm here, minutes? hours? days? weeks? months? years? I don't have a clue. I don't even know how long I sleep or if it's day or night, because the darkness is still here, the coldness, I think it's a miracle that I even manage to write and read in the dark. Because everything is so black, so cold, I can feel it way too deep in my bones. I don't have much clothes on and well, I smell bad. The room smells bad, if I could not breath well before then this is the end. I need to pee and poop somewhere. Lucky I asked for a bucket that can close, but still, the smell is bad. I probably look the same as it smells in here, I have my clothes on for a way too long time. And there is nothing else to do then what I am doing now:

1. Waking up.

2. Taking one bite of the bread I have.

3. Taking one sip from the water bottle I have.

4. Writing much.

5. Reading everything through.

6. Thinking.

7. Taking one bite of the bread again.

8. Taking one sip from the water bottle again.

9. Pee and/or poop.

10. Thinking again.

11. Sleeping.

That's it. And I forgot to add that I don't have any toilet paper here so that's gross. Really gross. It' s one of the worst tortures I can imagine. It's hell. I feel sick and weak, but I can't feel sick and weak because I am strong. Always moving and doing something, never peaceful. I have this fire inside of me and that fire just never dies, it can't. There is only one way to let that fire die, to die myself, because then the fire dies with me. But I am definitely not planning on dying because I am still alive and so is my fire. I still have emotions, I can cry, I can laugh, I can run, I can walk, I can stand tall. I will get out of here. Someday I will get out of here. And I will get out alive. For sure. I will get out alive. Because if not it  will break my hart even if it's already broken, even if I am already dead, I will die again if I don't come out alive.

I don't even know if I will still remember the good stuff if this stay like this. People called me a rainbow. Because I have all the colors in me. I am not afraid to show them. They used to say that at the feet of a rainbow lays a treasure, but whenever I am looking down I only see my feet standing on the ground. When I think about it maybe that's the treasure. The earth under my feet, being able to walk on it, to live on earth, the be part of something so big. To mean something, to be standing on such a powerful element. Mother Earth is greater then the sun. Not bigger, but greater It combines all elements together and it's the only planet in the universe that does that. At least the only planet we know that it does.  She let the sky and the earth comes together, and the fire and water are part of it too because without those 4 Master powers there would be nothing, I don't know what nothing looks like because there is nothing, no color, no holes, there would be nothing, just nothing. I can't imagine it. I am so used to those four beautiful and strong but also dangerous powers. There are other planets, but they always miss one or more elements, and this planet, this earth doesn't miss any, it creates life herself as if it's nothing. I think we should cherish that, not ruin it. It's magic how she does that, but it's hard for her to keep alive too, the people here only cause drama, pain, death, trash, it infects her in a bad way. But just like me this beautiful Earth is staying strong as long as she still has her fire. So I do agree with the people, at the feet of a rainbow lays a treasure. Maybe not gold, not silver, no diamonds, but life itself. She is not acknowledged enough for it, but Mother Earth is one big treasure. I sound like a climate activist. I smile and laugh at that. There is nothing wrong with climate activists, they have a good reason to be, maybe even too good. But all of those projects at schools, I don't think that it works, it sounds bad, I know,