Is This Still Love?

Chapter 5

T/W Babyloss and trauma

Danny pulled up in Emily's driveway, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering away. He knocked on the door, flowers in hand. As she opened he felt those butterflies intensify. She always knew how to take his breath away.

"Hi" she chimed, inviting him in.

"These are you for, as a sorry and a thank you" he said handing her the flowers.

"Thank you" she blushed, the feelings taking her back to her first date with him. She soon snapped back to reality.

"I was wondering" he said "Maybe we could stop by the cemetery before we go for dinner, go spend some time there" he mumbled.

"I would like that" she replied. It had been a while since they'd both gone to their baby's grave together. Danny nodded and smiled at her, taking in her beauty once more. He really had never gotten over her, not really.

Danny and Emily knelt down beside the gravestone.

"Autumn Rose Jones – Born Sleeping July 25th.

Forever engraved on our hearts"

Emily blew a kiss towards the grave and Danny took her hand but she quickly pulled it away. She got up and faced away.

"She would hate what we've become" she sighed after a long silence. Danny pulled himself up and stood behind her.

"No Emily, we do her proud everyday, there is not a day that she is not in my mind!"

"Except when you're in the bar drinking...sleeping with any woman who throws you a look!"

"That's not fair!" he croaked "You left me! Just remember that!" he said, he voice raised slightly. Emily glanced at the gravestone. "Not here" she whispered "Not in front of her".

Emily kissed her hands and placed it on the gravestone before walking away. The rain drops began falling as she did. Danny did the same before running to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. She looked into his blue eyes that once sparkled, they were now dull and lifeless, much like hers.

"Emily..." he began, the rain getting heavier as the drops began to hit them hard. She continued to look into his deep blue eyes. Her heart began beating faster and faster. The rain had now drenched his white top, causing it to become see through. Emily let her senses take over as she cupped his face in her hands, kissing him passionately, allowing the passion to surge. Danny felt the electric shocks shot through his body as he wrapped his arms around her, their kissing becoming more intense. As the loud thunder clapped, it shook them apart.

"I erm..." Danny started.

"I better get home" she whispered sadly.

"The cars this way" he shouted through the thudding rain, as she walked in the opposite direction. But she continued to walk, with no intention of walking back to his car. "Emily this is silly, will you please let me drive you home"

"I'm fine Danny, i'm not your problem anymore remember!!" she shouted back as she continued to walk in the rain. Danny sighed.

Flashback

"Here she is" the midwife said, as Emily gave one final push. Danny held her tightly as their baby was taken. The room was silent. The room should have been filled with happy sounds, the sound of their baby giving their first cry, and Danny would make a joke about how she had a great set of lungs that would put his to shame. Instead? Silence.

The midwife placed a tiny, delicate bundle into Emily's arms. As they stared down at her, she looked perfect. Born at 25 weeks, she was a tiny 1lb 6oz baby, with 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes. Life didn't seem fair.

"Does she have a name?" The midwife asked gently. They both looked at each other and together replied "Autumn Jones". Danny stroked his daughters hand gently, tears falling down his face along with Emily. He kissed the top of Emily's head. "You did so well" he commented. He was in awe of how strong she was, much stronger than he could have ever been.

The midwife and nurses talked them through what would happen next, how they would bring a special cot in, how they could spend as much time as needed with her, before they were ready to say goodbye.

"How can I ever be ready to say goodbye?" Emily thought to herself.

Danny and Emily each took turns to cuddle their daughter, crying, laughing, taking in her every detail. Soon, they'd have nothing left but memories and photos.

End of flashback