Black Roses

🥀5🥀

His face had morphed into one of confusion, as he kneeled on the ground, his big bright eyes staring back at mine; practically revealing the millions of questions running through his head, why is she crying? What does she know that I don't? etcetera etcetera...
"Get up and fucking run do you here me"
I yelled at him, the gun still pointed at him,
"Wha-"
"JUST RUN, LEAVE BEFORE I SHOOT YOU!"
He didn't move only continued to stare at me in awe of my random out burst, he slowly stood up unsure as to why I was screaming at him— of course he wouldn't recognise me, why on earth would he? He would of been too young to remember me, or maybe he does but chooses to stay in the dark, I'm sure he hates me for what I did...
"I'm sorry" I whispered tears finally falling as the clouds began to let out a low rumble. I lowered the gun as I lowered my head now refusing to look at him, maybe it's best I leave him in the dark. He could be happier with Straykids? Who am I kidding why would they allow him to kill?
Jeongin had been stood there now unsure of what to say or do as the tears seemed to never end. He now slowly began backing up, taking one last look of confusion before running off into the darkness.
He's alive...
But how?
Jeongin is my brother, he was the entire reason why I joined the spy community, I wanted to find him, for years everyone convinced me he died — on that one dark fateful day...

It was just before I was morphed into the pure evil that was to become Spectre, when everything was normal and I was ignorant to the world I would soon enter, one of torture and death.
Me and Jeongin were running around, giggling our back garden, my mother simply smiling at us while folding some washing from the washing line. Our garden was small but big enough to fit a trampoline and a few beds of flowers . I was 9 at the time, I think he was around 6, or 5? No definitely 6, I remember him with a few teeth missing as he would beam his bright smile at me while he chased me.

After running back and forth for a few moments, he finally tackled me to the ground in a fit of giggles, nothing was particularly funny but as children we would laugh at the smallest things; so falling over seemed to be absolutely hilarious. All giggles halted as we heard my mother scream at us to get in side the house at the top of her lungs, clearly desperate to protect us from whatever was behind us. Four or five men now occupied our back garden they had torn down the back gate clearly desperate to get inside— I don't know what they said exactly because the minute the sound of that shot cut through the air my mind went into hyperdrive. Next thing I knew, the men had seized me and began dragging me away. I couldn't hear or even fight back, I only saw my mothers face crumpled up into one of nothing but raw despair, tears pouring down much like a water fall would, kneeling over Jeongin who now had blood spilling from his chest. It happened so fast I couldn't even bring myself to react, only completely confused, sad, angry maybe even glad I was being taken away from the horrible scene.

After that day I never heard anything from my brother nor my mother. And for over 10 years I only came to know the evil and disgusting world that maybe I would have never of seen if I hadn't just sat and stared at what had happened. So, I don't blame them for never wanting to find me— it shocked me that even my grandparents openly accepted me.

I always thought that as soon as I found him I'd hug him and immediately take him home where he belongs. I would properly apologise and explain myself to have him possibly accept me into his life or shout at me and turn me away... either would be fine just as long as he knows that I'm sorry. So so sorry. But that idea seemed to go straight out the window as I met his gaze back there, he's a part of Straykids...
A group I'm assuming wants to kill me.

The next time I see Bang Chan he is as good as dead, if I didn't want to kill him before I most definitely do now. I don't care when Jeongin joined whether that was recently or a while back I don't care — just why on earth would you take in an innocent child and throw them into a life of misery and death.
Now that I think about it, he must've been one of the two members I couldn't find the identities of.