Javi, Come Home

『 SUMMARY PAGE 』

❝ i called your name last night. three times.
just like a little boy. i wrote it somewhere.
i hoped by some magical thing you would appear.
it's not silly, i was just desperate.❞

― Mohammed Zahir, in a letter to T.M.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

     Javi, come home. Your mother is sick.

     Javi, come home. It will not be long now.

     Javi, come home. The funeral is Friday.

     Javi, come home. I miss my son.

     The boys are fifteen and they're in love but they don't know it, yet.

     No, the things they know are limited. They know that they can't actually die of boredom even though it certainly feels that way. And they know that if Tatum talks to his mom, Javi can sneak a couple of beers out of the fridge without her noticing. They know that the fastest way to the lake is through Mitchum's backyard. But they also know Mitchum has a pet goose that will take a chunk out of their asses if they don't run fast enough.

     They know that they'll never be this young and this alive again, so they run through Mitchum's backyard and let a goose chase them because it's the closest thing to thrilling their lives can be in a small town where everyone knows everyone and no one ever leaves.

     The boys are fifteen and they're going to kiss but they don't know it, yet.

     No, what they do know is that they can spend the day at the lake without ever feeling the time pass. They play games, and they race each other. Javi lets Tate win because he's a poor swimmer but a poor sport, too. His asthma makes it hard and he never really got the hang of breathing out of the side of his mouth.

     Javi knows that they won't always have days like this, with the sun beating into them and their fingers so pruned they've lost all sensation. Tate wants everyday to be like this. He always says so. And Javi laughs but he knows the days are numbered, knows all about shelf lives.

     The boys are fifteen and they're going to destroy each other but they don't know it, yet.

     Javi, it's me. Tate.