Steady Love

Distractions

     "Corrine, I think I should get you to a hospital." He said, brushing hair back from my face as another surge came. I was calm. I should have been more afraid than I was, but I wasn't. I trusted God, I trusted my body, and I trusted my own knowledge.
     I shook my head. "I'm okay. You should go. Thank you for helping me." My voice was quiet, and even, and I was thankful for that. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was panicking.
     He was silent for a minute. "Is that baby coming right now?" He asked me.
     All I could do was look up at him, and fall into a heap on his shoulder. The baby was coming, I knew it. Not right that second, but before the night was up the baby would be here. And Francis wouldn't be.
     "Alright, where's the hospital? Don't you have a doctor?" He was patting my back.
     I shook my head. His arms wrapped around me. "I was suppose to have a home birth. Francis, my sister in law, she is my midwife. She was suppose to be here, and her mom, they were my birth team." And now I couldn't get ahold of them.
     He took a deep breath. "Alright. Im gonna call and leave her one more message, and then I'm gonna get you to a hospital. Somewhere, there's got to be a hospital." He said.
     Outside the thunder was still rolling, and the wind still howling. It wasn't safe to be on the roads and I knew that. I looked at him. I shook my head again.
     "You know it isn't safe out there."
     I could see in his eyes that he did. But I could also see in his eyes that he didn't want to deliver my baby on my couch.
     "What can I do?"
     He helped me stand from the couch and tried to call her again. I stood behind the couch while he was in the kitchen, the phone to his ear and frustration on his face as he rubbed a hand over his face. I leaned over, my hands on the couch, rocking my hips thru a surge.
     I barely knew this man. But he was going to deliver my baby.
     He came back into the living room, standing in front of the couch.
     "She didn't answer again. I left her 4 messages. Is there anyone else I can call?" He asked, his eyes covering me from head to toe.
I shook my head.
     I took advantage of the time I still had to move around and went to my room. He was on my heels, following me thru the small house.
     I stopped, leaning over in the hall way. I needed to time these.
     "Do you have a timer on your phone?" I asked him.
     He nodded and got his phone out. I left him to time my contractions after a brief explaination as I went on into the bedroom. The contractions were tight but not unbearable. I knew until I couldn't talk or breathe the baby wasn't coming just yet. My water hadn't broken either. I was hopeful we still had time for Francis to call back.
     I had done most all of the preparations before now, although, there were a lot of things that still hadn't been done. But, I knew I could do without all the bells and whistles.
     I had the basics of what I needed, and I was sure I'd do just fine.

     Cal had never seen a woman in labor before. I was pretty well certain he'd never even heard of a birth affirmation, and using the fetal Doppler to listen for the baby's heart beat was as foreign as another language. But he never wavered. I sat on a birthing ball by the bed, leaning forward, bouncing between contractions, while Cal stood in the doorway, watching me silently.
     "You can leave, Cal. I'm fine. I promise." I assured him, as I swayed my hips and sat up, putting my hands on the bed.
     He shook his head. "No. I won't leave. Stop telling me to. Focus on what you're doing."
     I couldn't hide the relief at not being alone. I would have at least tried to but honestly, I was too tired.
     "Why do you keep coming back here?" I asked him, bouncing again.
     He snorted. "That's not what I told ya to do, Corrine."
     I smiled. "Distractions are fine." I said. "Helps me forget that it hurts."
     He took a deep breath. "I'm just trying to help."
     "You did what you were asked. You brought me the papers. You could have left days ago. But you keep coming back here."
     He sighed, timing my next contraction before answering. "I don't know. You're out here all alone and you don't have to be. I told your dad I'd take care of ya and I find ya out in the rain and cold. I guess I'm just tryin to do what I promised."
     Now I was the one snorting. "Big ask of a man who didn't take care of me himself." That had nothing to do with cal. "You are so noble." I was being sarcastic, but he didn't say anything.
     I bounced for a few more minutes. "Don't you have a family?" I was fishing now. I needed a distraction.
     He moved to kneel on the opposite side of the bed. He was a large man, and my full size bed seemed small in comparison.
     "I've got a mama, and a dad. And a sister. Had grandparents but they're all dead now. "He said.
I could feel his eyes on me, and I knew he was going to stare at me every second until the baby was delivered safely. I wasn't sure if I felt ok with him staring at my private areas exactly. But I also wasn't sure I wanted to be all alone when it was time to push either.
     "What about you, Corrine? Why are you out here, all alone?"
     I wasn't sure how to start that conversation anymore.
     "My mom left me. My grandma raised me. This was her house. My older brother, technically my uncle, lives about 20 minutes from here, Francis is his wife. I'm very close to her. My grandma passed." I stopped talking, a surge was taking over again.
     After it was over I sat back up and felt discouragement come over me. They were still not any closer together or any stronger. I begin to wonder if it was indeed labor.
     "Can you try Francis again?"
     He was going to call righ then, but I needed a minute. "I'd love some tea also."
     I wasn't sure how he'd found things in the kitchen, but he managed to leave Francis another message and make me a cup of chamomile tea. I requested honey and he obliged.
     He returned to his spot across the bed from me.
     "So, your family lives on your ranch?"
     He shook his head. "My mama and dad live on their own land. My sister lives there too when she's not at school. My cousin has a ranch also, not far from me. My ranch is small in comparison to theirs, but it's still a working operation and it's just getting started. I'll add parcels when I feel it's right. I've got a big family really. Lots of aunts and uncles. Just don't see 'em really regular."
     He was obliging my request for distraction, and for that I was thankful.