Could It Be More Than Friendship?

First and Last Part

Year 2019. I stepped into a new school, a sea of unfamiliar faces. My friends and I had transferred together, yet ended up in different classes. It took a while, but I finally found my section, mostly guys, with just a handful of girls. Shyness held me back from connecting with them, as we seemed to be on different wavelengths. My bubble felt like my only refuge in those first weeks.

Then, one day, we had a vacant session since the teacher couldn't make it. To alleviate my boredom, I decided to play Mobile Legends, a very popular game at that time and even now. A classmate spotted me and wanted to join in. I said, "Why not?" and we started playing just for fun. What I didn't expect was that this guy was secretly a gaming prodigy. He had skills that left me in awe, and I had no clue until that very moment.

Later that day, after our class ended, he wanted to know where I lived. I shared that I usually take a bus, considering my hometown was about an hour away from school. To my surprise, he said he was heading in the same direction and insisted on walking me to CSBT (Cebu South Bus Terminal).

Time flew by, and I had a tight-knit group of friends, mostly guys because our section was mostly boys. Among them, there were two who became particularly close to me, let's call them 'K'and 'P'. K was my study buddy, just like me, he was also an academic scholar. On the other hand, P was my partner in gaming adventures.

I often talk with K during our classes, and this drew teasing remarks from P, which eventually became a running joke among the whole class. Then, out of nowhere, P asked me something that left me baffled, "Ngano manhid kaayo ka?" I was taken aback, "Huh? What do you mean?" He was insistent, claiming that K had feelings for me, and everyone seemed to know except for me.

Both of them, K and P, were genuinely kind and always ready to lend a helping hand. Yet, I never interpreted their kindness as anything beyond friendship. To me, that's just what friends do. Having close guy friends was a new experience for me, so it took some time getting used to. When P said that K liked me, I dismissed it with a casual, "No, he doesn't. He's just a kind and friendly person." I didn't think much of it. K was a good friend, and I made that clear to everyone. Despite my assurances, my friends playfully teased me, convinced that there was something more between K and me. Little did I know, K did harbor feelings for me. It turns out, I was completely oblivious.

They both had a tendency to be a little affectionate, though not in a romantic or intimate manner. They'd gently pat my head or play with my hair, especially when I needed a quick nap during breaks. I'll admit, these gestures, perhaps it's shallow of me, but they did give me butterflies. Even so, I didn't jump to conclusions. After all, I was what they call "NBSB" (No Boyfriend Since Birth), so I was cautious and guarded with my feelings.

Now, let's talk about P. He's an outgoing and one of the loud people in class. However, there was an incident where I think something I said made him go quiet, and because he could be intimidating when mad, I chose not to ask.

Later, once I was at home, I reached out to him through chat to understand what had bothered him. I offered my apologies, and to my relief, he responded with an apology of his own. He explained that he was feeling particularly sensitive in that moment. With that, we mended our rift. That night became a turning point for us, as we engaged in our first deep, meaningful conversation. We explored personal topics, from struggles to family matters to relationships. It was then that I discovered I could confide in him without fear of judgment. He was an excellent listener who never invalidated my feelings.

Our days were spent like that, talking a lot. I never sensed any malice, especially since he was pursuing a girl at that time. Then, unexpectedly, he confessed his feelings for me. It caught me completely off guard. It seemed so unbelievable, especially he's the type of person to always make joking remarks about anything and everything.