Memories - Purinz

Chapter 4 - Crossing Paths

Chaewon wakes up first.

For the first time in a very long while, she's slept well. She supposes it had something to do with having Yunjin in her arms again. Any sleep was good sleep when things were alright between them.

Chaewon lets out a yawn and looks over at the sleeping figure whose arms were draped all over her. Yunjin looked so peaceful, and calm. Her lips are slightly open, body rising and falling slowly together with Chaewon's as they breathed. Chaewon pulls her close, plants a soft kiss on top of Yunjin's head and hums softly as she caresses Yunjin's hair. Chaewon used to do this back when they were still okay, and she absolutely loved it because moments like these used to remind her that no matter how complicated and tiring the world around them got, she'd always have Yunjin. She clings to those memories, holds them tight, and locks them up somewhere inside her heart; somewhere where no one, not even Yunjin, could take it away from her. And Chaewon wishes time would stop, she wishes to live in this moment with Yunjin for as long as she could; away from the hurt, away from the wreckage of everything that has happened.

Yunjin stirs and Chaewon holds her breath, waiting for her to jolt awake and pull away from Chaewon as fast as she could just like the morning after they slept together. But Yunjin doesn't. Instead, she shifts to a better position, mumbling something incoherently.

"Jen?" she asks, confused.

Yunjin looks at Chaewon, eyes half open, and smiles at her softly.

Chaewon's overcome by the vision, it was too pure, reminiscent of the Yunjin she knew before. Yunjin puckers her lips and pouts as she pushes herself up and kisses Chaewon lightly. Before Chaewon could react, Yunjin dips her head back down to Chaewon's chest and resumes sleeping. Chaewon's heart twists meanly, her insides making her feel like she got punched in the gut. This was something Yunjin used to do; mumbling disjointed words and kissing Chaewon softly before falling back asleep again.

It used to bring a smile to her face, now she just feels like her heart got ripped out of her chest. Because this was all pretend, just a remnant of the past, a leftover reflex from before. Chaewon knows better than to delude herself that Yunjin still loves her, not after last night. She came back to Seoul with an iron will to fix all the things that were broken when she left, but Chaewon's resolve is already waning, and she's come to the realization that maybe things between her and Yunjin were way beyond fixing.

Sometimes love and communication aren't enough.

Maybe Chaewon's beginning to agree.

Sometimes love and communication aren't enough.

She feels Yunjin shift under the sheets and pulls her closer, nuzzling on Chaewon's neck like she used to.

Maybe Chaewon doesn't agree after all.

--

Then

It was hot out, summer was creeping around the corners and everyone could feel it. She and Yunjin decided to spend their Sunday outside campus and they somehow ended up sitting on the grass at the side of the Han River. They were far from alone, kids with their families were out and about as well, and they spotted several teenagers strolling by the riverside too.

But for Chaewon, it was still peaceful. She and Yunjin have been on academic overdrive the past few days and a day out together was something they both needed to keep themselves from going insane due to the schoolwork. They both needed to calm down and relax and so for the past hour that's what they've been doing. Yunjin spent her time taking pictures of the river, of the flowers, the trees, herself, and the dogs who pass by from time to time. And Chaewon spent the hour alternating her gazes between her girlfriend and the river. She's still staring lovingly, thinking about how pretty Yunjin is; the sunlight highlighting her collar bone, her chin, her nose, her eyes, every beautiful thing about her, which in Chaewon's opinion, was basically every part of her. She hears Yunjin giggle at a corgi on a run with its owner and thinks of daffodils and yellow dahlias and how she never wants to lose her.