Memories - Purinz

Chapter 2 - Old Times

Chaewon watches Yunjin as she drives away, figure blurring as tears cloud her vision. Her chest rises and falls as she heaves out sobs. She wants to chase after her, tell her she was sorry and that it was wrong to leave and that she's regretted it so much. She wants to tell Yunjin that she still loves her, she wants to hold her and ask her to take her back. But she couldn't, Yunjin's gone and Chaewon was there, alone and crying. She's aware that a bunch of people were staring at her, but she couldn't find it in her to care. Seeing Yunjin look at her like that, like she hates her, reminded her of the last night they saw each other before she left, and it was enough to send her crashing.

She mentally kicks herself for not going straight home after meeting up with Yujin and Wonyoung, but in her defense, she didn't know she'd bump into Yunjin so soon. She had it all planned out, but that went down the drain and now she's left with no plan and a broken heart; exactly the way she was two years ago.

Chaewon absentmindedly hails a cab and soon enough finds herself standing in front of Yujin's apartment. She knocks and Yujin opens the door to find Chaewon, face wet with tears, crestfallen and unable to breathe.

"Chaewon. What happened?" the older girl asks worriedly, placing both hands on the other girl's shoulders.

"Yujin," Chaewon manages to say despite her sobbing.

"Why are you crying?" Yujin questions, growing concern immediately coloring her tone.

Chaewon sniffles and tries to control her breathing as she struggles to reply, "Yunjin. I saw Yunjin."

"Oh no. I thought you weren't gonna meet her yet?" she asks, confused.

"I-It was an accident, I didn't know I'd see her and fuck she hates me. She hates me, Yuj." Chaewon weeps, she's uncontrollable.

"Jesus, Chaewon, you poor thing." Yujin sighs. She pulls Chaewon into a tight hug and takes her in without another word. She lets her sob all over her shirt and tends to her throughout the night.

Having Yujin around made Chaewon feel a little better, but her heart still ached and no amount of cookies or movies she could devour would be able to eradicate the hurt completely. So Chaewon lets it sit there in her heart, lets it fester; not caring if it kills her.

-

Then

Yunjin realizes that maybe labels were indeed important. There were people coming up to Chaewon, asking her out, and she couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy every single time. She wants to tell them that they can't do that because someone already owns Chaewon's heart, but she knows she can't.

Chaewon doesn't say yes or lead those other people on. Of course she wouldn't, her heart's already set on someone else.

Yunjin and Chaewon's relationship didn't lack love or wanting, what it lacked was bravery. They were at a point in their relationship where both of them know there was something else between them. The kisses, the sex, the tight embraces — all of them meant something. They've been on that point for a long while already but both of them were too scared, too in denial. They were in love, they just needed to take the leap.

One leap of faith was all it would take. So on the last night of their first semester, Yunjin gets brave.

She and her friends were playing their last gig for the semester and they've somehow landed into a conversation about whether they were a band or not in between breaks.

"Okay seriously? After two months of playing together, why are you still in denial? We are a band." Yujin says incredulously.

"I still don't know what to call us. What kind of band doesn't have a name? We're like, nameless." Yunjin tells them, proceeding to sit on the edge of the mini stage they were on at the left corner of the lounge.