Love education || Sunwon

VII

Jungwon still loves Sunoo.

There's no other way really? Sunoo can be the worst person alive and, Jungwon would still love him.

It's sad really but how can Jungwon just stand there and not hug Sunoo? How can he not push everyone aside when he tries to take Sunoo away? How can he not hug him when Sunoo cries like that? How can he not...how can he not love Sunoo when he's loved him for so long?

Love sucks truly. You get so blinded by love that suddenly, nothing but the person you love matters.

Jungwon told himself many times;

He doesn't like you. Stop liking him.

But, he couldn't. Not when Sunoo is so... he's honestly everything. Sunoo checks all the boxes. He's smart, he's independent, he's beautiful, he's kind...to his friends but hey! He's still kind.

Jungwon's stupid, he knows that and maybe Sunoo knows that too? Maybe that's why he loves playing with his heart? Maybe that's why he gives him all these mixed signals? Maybe that's why Sunoo kissed him, to get him riled up and confused, to mess with his heart, his feelings and possibly, his degree.

Maybe Sunoo planned this all along? Get under his skin and put him on the second spot but, that doesn't even matter anymore.

Jungwon would gladly take the second position if that means Sunoo gets first, if that means Sunoo can be happy, if that means Sunoo's content.

As long as Sunoo smiles.

That's what he's trying to get him to do even right now. Jungwon just wants Sunoo to-- to be the brave man he fell in love with.

Even if it's hard. Jungwon knows he's capable.

"Shhhh I'm here Sunoo" Jungwon soothes his back, gently patting him "I'm right here"

Sunoo leans in closer to hug him, burying his face in his chest and continues to cry "why?"

Sunoo doesn't say anything else, he really can't. How can he when he's been this fucking brutal to the angel sitting next to him? How dare he even cry on his shoulder when he's made Jungwon cry?? Sunoo knows he's messed up but, why does Jungwon have to care so much.

He's just a stupid boy with the stupid dream of becoming a doctor.

A stupid gay boy with a stupid gay crush he's too afraid to admit.

Sunoo hates himself. He hates himself so much. On one hand, he can't admit he likes Jungwon and on the other, he can't keep denying it anymore.

It would be too stupid. He's not stupid.

For a while, Jungwon doesn't answer his question, he just sits there and hugs Sunoo tightly, still rubbing circles on his back, until he finally speaks.

"I don't really know" He breathes out "I don't think you'll like the answer" Jungwon admits, his voice trembling at end.

Sunoo's whole body stiffens and he breaks the hug to look at a nervous looking Jungwon "Doesn't matter" He argues back "I wanna know why Jungwon" He urges "... please"

And when he can't anymore, he pleads. And, Jungwon can't resist that.

Taking a deep breath, Jungwon looks at Sunoo their eye meeting each others before he parts his lips to speak "I'm in love with you" Jungwon stops, looking at a wide eyed Sunoo before continuing "I've been in love with you for a while I guess? I don't even know when it started but, I'm helplessly in love with you Sunoo. So much so that, it hurts me to not tell you every second of the day just how much i love you. Its hurts not to see you smile,

it hurts when you're upset over something, it hurts when you're frustrated, it hurts when you don't look in my direction, it hurts when I look in your eyes and find nothing but rage for me in your eyes.

I don't even know why you hate me so much? But, I guess I've gotten used to it because, I find love even in the rage you hold against me, I love you even if you despise the sight of me, i love you even if you're cold to me, I love you even if you...even if you hate me Sunoo.

And, I love you enough that, I'd let you break me just so I get the chance to be with you."

Jungwon ends his confession with a sad smile, the tears even more visible now and for a while, Sunoo just sits there and stays silent which is enough for Jungwon to believe that he's done for.

He knew Sunoo didn't share the same feelings, he knew Sunoo hated him, he knew Sunoo is too good for him but still, he gave it a shot.

And, you know what? Fuck it. At least he got the stupid crush off his chest now all that he needs is a brutal rejection to set him straight and never ever look back at this ever ag-

"Let's be friends"
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OMG PROGRESS EKKKK ~~

I hope you guys enjoyed this~~ i love you all so much and have a nice day :))