Writers note: I wrote this cus I was bored and decided to message my friend part 1 don't take any of this seriously I am bored and tired anyways
The start of hell
It all starts with:
A cabbage lit on fire literally no joke TOTTALY
On top of the Eiffel Tower but guess what the Eiffel Tower that the cabbage is on is actually on the torch of the statue of liberty 😨
For some reason the cabbage has 58 tactical nukes under it the button to activate it is on mercury but all of this is happening on planet HD189733b (I'm not joking that's a planet that rains molten glass) so obviously this is all melting causing the nukes to go off since the molten glass the planet is raining but the cabbage is repelled into space The cabbage repels into space undamaged And will land on an alien planet That will send it back to earth The cabbage that was treated like a god by the aliens is shot back to earth with superhuman powers and sentience The cabbage lands in the middle of the North Pacific Ocean in the alien pod and starts setting a course to.... THE WHITE HOUSE 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅 The cabbage lands at the White House and kicks the door open with his magical human legs He storms into the white house and finds (I forgot the president lemme google it) nvm I rember Joe Biden and uses an American trucker voice to say GIVE ME SOME DORITOS SPECIFICALLY THE BLACK GARLIC ONES Joe obviously gives him the Doritos The cabbage floats out the White House and hijacks a motor bike He goes on a killing spree But gets a call from his family He was having so much fun he forgot about his brothers birthday 😨 He shits out a present and brings it to his house But wait THE US GOVERMENT? IN HIS HOUSE WOAH WHAT ARE THEY DOING turns out the minute the cabbage left the Oval Office and ate his Doritos Joe called the government uh oh the cabbage is confused but sees his family AS HOSTIGES 😨 One of the workers shoots his baby brother the cabbage didn't care he was a bit off a fat ass But the worker kills ALL HIS FAMILY UH OH
